The boardwalk life

John bolts past Patty and Adjin on his front porch…almost knocking them over. A lamp shines through billowing Irish lace curtains in the living room window.

Patty

Hello?

John

Igotta get out of here.

Adjin

Did you and your Aunt have a fight?

John

Worst. She’s wearing those Suzanne Somers pajamas….…with the matching emerald green jewelry…

Patty

No that’s called ….lounge-wear.

John

…and Officer Mike is coming over.

Patty

So?

John

So what if he’s wearing cop pajamas. You know once you see something like that…it ruins ya

They cross the street to the boardwalk and dunes. Up far ahead is the Funtown Pier with it’s huge ferris wheel and roller coasters.  As they cross the street, a car full of girls yell out:

Girls yelling

Oh look.. a boy band is in town

Patty

I’m a girl. Get out of the car and I’ll kick your butts.

Adjin

Don’t yell that. We don’t need a bunch of girls jumping us.

John

No. I’m ok with that.

They walk onto the boardwalk and head towards the Seaside Park Pier.

Ajin

Any way Patty. That song is about a girl who wants to be called Maybe…cause that means she is up for something.

Patty

Are you stupid? Are you a stupid man. She’s saying this is crazy, but here’s my number. So call me….maybe?

Adjin says and looks to John for support

No. Call me Maybe!

John to Adjin

Back to the girls in the car. Do you think if we see them again…they’d jump us?

Patty jumps on John’s back.

An older couple walking by say

See, the girls are as bad as the boys.

They reach the candy store and John goes up to the counter.

Chocolate covered bacon

John turns to Patty and Adjin

You have to try this.

To the clerk

And three large cokes.

Screw Mayor Bloomberg. Nanny man.

Patty to a confused Adjin

The Mayor of New York banned large sugar drinks to everyone but John thinks he was just talking to him.

They eat the messy bacon as they walk.

John

If you eat it right…small particles get caught in your teeth and it looks like your teeth are rotten.

Patty

Why hasn’t a woman snapped you up.

Adjin

Look at the beachcomer bar. They’re adding a second level.

Patty

Yup it pays to have Snookie get punched in the face on national tv in your bar.

John to Adjin

Still leading the Jersey Shore tour around town?

Patty

Here’s where so and so hurled, got drunk, got punched, got arrested. You know the cops in this town never arrested me.

Adjin sees a fat girl and points

Thar she blows.

Since he was looking at the girl…he doesn’t see the large metal garbage can in the middle of the boardwalk and walks into it with a bang.

Teens on a bench clap

Patty

Karma. See, that’s what you get.

John to Patty

You don’t want just any cop to arrest you.  I see who you look at.

Patty

You are looking at who I'm looking at? You need to get a life.

John

I have one…this is it.