Writing the script for rocka @beckinfield

The sea oats wave in the breeze on the dunes across the boardwalk from John and Patty. A butterfly samples various reeds before settling on a neon pink rose.

John to Patty seated next to him on a bench

I guess writing the script is like that butterfly. I just sampled things from everything out there and tried to write a joke about it.

Patty keeps reading John's script.

Ah, ha.

John

Like Alyssa Milano tweeted...

Patty

Oh my God Alyssa Millano. You even bought Jennifer one of her shirts for Christmas....

John

So...ALYSSA MILANO...(John laughs) tweet about them finding the God particle...it holds mass together in the universe. But she didn't say where. So I thought of a joke...they found the particle that holds mass together. It's called the God particle. Kim Kardashian was sitting on it. I worship that stuff..

Patty laughs

I didn't read that joke in the script

John

The script had to fit in what @thatrayklein's character Rocka had been doing on @beckinfield

Patty

That's the online drama thing

John

Right. So I thought there were all these rumors of men in black etc. And I wanted to make fun of things I hate in the world....prejudice...mean people...the messed up conspiracy theories of 9/11. So I wrote A Vast Amish Conspiracy....cause they would be anti-technology but innocent. And like the nutty  people who hate Jews or Muslims or Christians anyone...I wanna make fun of them. So I wrote that script.

Rocka on Beckinfield Posting

‘A Vast Amish Conspiracy’

Written by John J Pender Jr., @nextwave05 on Twitter

Performed by Ray Klein, @thatrayklein on Twitter

INT.

FULL BODY SHOT- ROCKA PACING BACK AND FORTH

Rocka

‘Those people, those people, t-h-o-s-e people. Trying to control the media…technology, clothes…everything we hold near and dear in America. Not just controlling it…preventing it. That’s the conspiracy. Should we all wear dark colors and grow long beards. No. I must get the truth out. ‘

EXTREME CLOSE UP OF ROCKA’S FACE-LIKE THE JOKER IN BATMAN, THE DARK KNIGHT.

‘Sweet. innocent, citizens of Beckinfield.  You’ve heard the buzz-Alien and  UFO sightings are a hoax.

Was the tablet Moses brought down from the mountain not really a Samsung Tablet given to him by Aliens? Check your History Channel… citizens.

Are the balls of light photographed over Congress  just balls of rising gas?

Will the new Titanic not use the UBER Alien Joan River’s face as a  flotation device?

Is Snookie’s tan of this world?

Does OBAMACARE not include Aliens?

Did the Amish show up for work in the World Trade Center on 9/11?

 STEPS BACK-FULL BODY VIEW

‘There is a vast conspiracy to discredit UFO  technology and the American way of life. And who want this?  Yes I’m talking about the Amish.’

Think Beckinfield. The Amish refuse to use technology. Wear designer clothes. Where would we be if we  think like them? The economy would collapse and with it… America.

Well, I will continue to believe in America and in UFO’s on land and sea and most importantly…in Beckinfield.’

RUBS HAND ON FACE

‘ I will continue to shave my face...

WINKS

 And other areas ladies.’

PULLS COLLAR OF SHIRT

‘For Beckinfield. For America.  I will wear my Ralph Lauren shirt.’

TOUCHES JEANS

‘Wear my Kenneth Cole jeans.’

PULLS OUT UNDERWEAR WAISTBAND AND READS IT

‘And my nivlac nielk underwear.’

(pulls the waistband more and twists body to read them more…)

‘My…. Calvin Klein underwear… which apparently  I’m wearing inside out… and backwards.’

TWISTING HIS BODY TOO MUCH…HE FALLS

SFX: metal falling

Camera goes black

Voice only

‘Hmm. My underwear’s fly is over my butt. Thought I felt a draft.’

John turns on his laptop. And here is Ray Klein performing it....as Rocka on @beckinfield