Darth Bernie

Darth Bernie

The other Bernie is a learned man whose insatiable need to consume everything -from other agencies to restaurant menus –has led him to have a body that resembles a white grub – bloated with food, white fat ready to spill over his 8 foot long, black glass desk.

Bernie

‘Consolidated Freight, Storage and Corn-based Chips.  I want to know how this happened? How were we not in the pitch? How did that agency get that account.’

Mick

‘Bernie’s agency is well-regarded..’

Bernie

‘Don’t tell me about Bernie. I never ran into him growing up on Sutton Place. And I’ll tell you something…they would never let him into Park Avenue. No where near where I live.  He’s a fish monger’s son.  His people come from some Russian tribe, raped by Vikings. My mother was a Cohen. I am the real deal. This agency is the real deal. He is is a sham. A few creatives running around and two people offices with low level account people nationwide…and now in London.  Who is on the account?’

Mick

‘I don’t know.’

Bernie

‘Find out. I want this account. I want them.’

Mick nods and runs out of the office.

Bernie points a remote control at the blinds on his window.  The Madison Avenue sun shines on Bernie. ..he made it shine on him.

The white sand slips between John’s feet as he walks on the beach in Seaside Heights NJ. He looks up at the pier and Haunted House ride.  He smiles as he thinks of how well the banshee hair worked to scare people. His cell phone buzzes with a text message. It’s from his artist partner and good friend at the agency David.

TEXT TO JOHN FROM DAVID

Bro. Your radio spot is going to go.  After a few focus groups.

TEXT TO DAVID

Focus groups on Bloody Hell Chips…you’ll fart fire? Blahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

TEXT TO JOHN

Don’t laugh. This is big. If this client likes you…it’s power.

TEXT TO DAVID

I feel so thankful  to Bernie. I’m going to hear something I wrote on the radio!

TEXT TO DAVID

Thankful? This is a business remember bro. He’s making money off of you. And  reminder…don’t tell anyone your ideas until it’s on the air. Remember it’s confidential. And your ideas belong to the agency…not you.

TEXT TO DAVID

Oh, who would want my ideas?