Text from John's phone
'Hey wanna ride out the storm at my house.'
Text from Patty's phone
'Did u move your house from Ocean Blvd or have the waves moved it?'
Text from John's phone
'House is solid. Built in 1911. B sides. UR on low-lying Pelican Island!!!'
Text from Patty's phone
'...don't b hate'n Pelicans'
Text from John's phone
'We could eat, do a seance...eat..contact the dead...eat. Did I mention eat?'
Text from Patty's phone
'More interested in contacting living guys. Will there b hot guys'
Text from John's phone
'Adjin'
Text from Patty's phone
'excuse me I'm gaging. I said hot guys.'
Text from John's phone
'Nope. But here's good news. My Aunt won't be cooking. I will.'
Text from Patty's phone
'No more Auntie's old fashioned, raw chicken in water? k i b there. c ya'
A few hours later-
When Patty enter's John's Aunt's house, the crashing ocean noise and wind whipping the sea oats on the dunes are left behind. The room's billowing, Irish lace curtains and soft lights create a cozy feel....and a surprise.
Patty takes in the room.
'I put my life in the hands of random holiday boy?'
Patty gestures towards holiday lights that are on every table. An Easter Bunny Head. A Pumpkin. A dancing valentine cupid. Shamrocks.
Patty bursts out laughing as she takes it all in.
Patty
'You r=e=a=l=l=y know how to set a romantic tone for a lady.'
Adjin comes around the corner from the kitchen with a bowl of chillie and corn bread.
'Hi Patricia. Johnny, what lady did you invite?'
Patty to Adjin
'Shut up. And what are you eating?'
Adjin
'Chillie. Nothing sets a romantic tone like beans.'
John to Patty
'The holiday lights? I didn't want to buy battery powered lights. So I just thought of all the battery powered holiday lights we have.'
Adjin
'So if the lights go out and I have to bring a light to the bathroom to pee...I'm gonna grab the smiling Easter Bunny face light to see by? I can't pee with the Easter Bunny watching me. I'm a Muslim.'
John's Aunt rounds the corner with a platter of corn bread, cheddar cheese and big serving bowl of chillie.
Aunt Margaret
'Hi Patty. You came just in time.'
Patty notices a Ouiji Board and crystal ball on the table.
Aunt Margaret sees where Patty is looking.
'I don't believe in that stuff. But you kids have fun. Oh... I know you aren't kids but to me you always will be kids.'
Patty bends over, grabs a bowl and begins to fill it with chillie. Adjin deliberately sits behind her
Adjin
'Don't point that butt at me.'
Patty wiggles her butt at Adjin's face in response and lifts her head to John who is in front of her.
'You make the corn bread?'
John
'I made Johnny cakes. Cause I'm Johnny.'
Adjin eating
'you are retarded...but this is good.'
John
'It's an Irish American receipe. What do they eat in the Ukraine...'
Adjin
'Blond guys like you. How the...
Adjin glances at John's Aunt.
Adjin edits his response
'...how the h-e-c-k do I know. I was born at Ocean County...like you. You know that. What do they eat in Ireland?'
John
'Don't know. Once, I said 'eat me' to some sarcastic guy online. He was from Ireland.'
Aunt
'John!'
John
'Auntie'
Adjin
'..so they eat blond guys too.'
How bad is it supposed to get.'
John
'Storm hasn't really started yet. oh my God, that reporter guy who's like our age. He said...exactly this. 'We are experiencing premature ejaculations...evaculations...evacuations.'
Everybody laughs
Aunt Margaret
'That was a funny story but...why did you have to be the one to tell it John?'
Adjin and Patty laugh again.
Patty to Aunt Margaret
'He's a good guy. You did a good job raising him.'
Adjin to Patty
'You're talking with your mouth full.'
Patty to Adjin
'Just think. He could have turned out like Adjin.'
John
'He's a good guy too. And you are a good friend Patty.'
Adjin sarcastically hugs John's shoulder.
'I love you man.'
Patty
'So gay...'
Patty
'...but not in a good way."
Patty and John fist bump
A gust of wind crashes garbage cans by the deck outside the kitchen door.
John
'I should take those in.'
Adjin
'Metal garbage cans. Hurricane winds. Ya think?'
John runs into kitchen and out the back door. Adjin follows him. The wind is whipping.Adjin runs after him and grabs one of the cans. His black hair is blowing, plastic flower pots are blowing down the street.
Adjin
'Dorothy! Dorothy!'
John reenters the kitchen with Adjin close behind.
John washes his hands.
'Thanks..get some hot chillie...yours is probably cold.'
They come back into the living room. Aunt Margaret and Patty finish up talking and both look funny at ...they're finishing a conversation he is not meant to hear.
Patty
'...so I'm good with just being friends.'
John
'When we finish the chillie, we also have ice cream and Oreos...double stuff.'
Patty
'Not as double stuff.'
Adjin
'Sooo not.'
John
'They did cut back on the double stuff. Think we wouldn't notice corporate America.'
Patty picks up the Ouija Board.
'Ever use this?'
John
'No. Just got that for tonight.'
Aunt Margaret picks up chillie bowl and corn bread.
'This is where I leave. I'm going to put this in the refrigerator. Have all you want kids. I mean people.'
Patty
'Thanks Auntie.'
Adjin to Patty
'You're not related.'
Patty to Adjin
'You're not relevant.'
Adjin to Patty
'You're not rer.'
Patty to Adjin. She makes a dumb face.
'That's all you got? I win...as always.'
Patty looks at the crystal ball.
Patty
'So who are we gonna contact.'
Adjin
'How about John's lovelife...that's pretty lifeless.'
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