The Cosmic Surf Shop Dude.

John's phone

Text message from Adjin

So?

Text message from John

Random texting...8-}

Text message from Adjin

Sooo bored

Txt message from John

Go'n 2 buy wax 4 surfboard

Text message from Adjin

@ Cosmic Surf Shop with soo fake dude who looks/talks like surfer but doesn't surf?

Text message from John

B-nice his perfect hair can not get wet 8-O

Text message from Adjin

I'm in. Time?

Text from John

Get over here dude

As Adjin and John enter the Cosmic Surf Shop, the smell of ginger and transendental music fills the air. Adjin jumps and waves his hands around his head...trying to get something off his face and head-John laughs.

John sees they've walked through the love beads hung in rows on strings in front of the door.

Adjin to John

'Shut up man...I thought they were spider webs.'

John puts his finger up to his lips in a sarcastic 'be quiet'

John

'The Cosmic Surf Shop is a sacred place.'

Adjin looks around the shop-taking it all in.

'This is such bull...'

Adjin looks at the ceiling painted dark blue with stars...'but it's awesome bull.'

John

'Ooo. Here comes Cosmic Surfer Dude. Adjin. Just agree with him...so we can hear him...'

Adjin

'Lie, exaggerate, throw the bull.'

John

'Exactly. Why do you think I'm here? I can buy wax for my surfboard any place.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Dudes. Real surfers. Seeing you guys...good for shop biz. It's like, you know when your feet enter the ocean and you bend over, put your board in

the water...'

Adjin whispers to John

'And a wave comes and the board hits you in the head because a real surfer would know you hold the freak'n board at your side...run into the ocean past the first few waves and then jump the board to glide over the waves...'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude, so self-involved he doesn't hear Adjin.

'...and the breaking waves just fill your lungs with salt air...'

John daydreams when people don't get to the point.

John to Cosmic Surf Shp Dude.

'...pardon...what were you saying'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Welcome real surfers.'

Adjin looks up as a tiny strobe light flashes, making it look like a shooting star has shot across the shop's night sky ceiling.

John

'We're here for wax.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Wax. I've got bees wax, Australian Outback wax...

Adjin whispers to John

'Made with real Kangaroo poop.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude goes behind a glass case, lined with Tibetan-patterned wool cloth.

'...Polynesian wax...with a hint of coconut...'

Adjin and John look sarcastically, lovingly at each other.

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'...Hollywood wax...with a kiss of lemon...dude that one will totally highlight your hair if you also use it to make your hair spikey...chicks groove on that look...and Romanian...that one will also take the hair off your chest when you lay on the surfboard...chicks love a smooth chest.'

Adjin

'But if the wax takes the hair off your chest..when you lay on the surfboard...you'd have a hairy surfboard.'

John says with a straight face

'Chicks so groove on a hairy surfboard. I can't get that.'

John pulls his shirt up.

'Chest hair-deprived. Blond.'

Adjin

'Could surf nude...the wax would pull out your pubes...there's your hairy board.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'You guys surf nude?'

Adjin

'All Muslims do.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude moves his head slowly

'Did not know that. Don't know any Muslims'

Adjin

'Why would you? So if you are ever with Muslim surfers  like me...just get naked and whip it out...'

John

'You'll be so in...'

Adjin

'Sooo in.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Will do.'

Strobe light flashes. Another star shoots across the ceiling as transcental music continues to play. Suddenly a radio ad for plastic surgery comes over the store's speakers.

Radio ad

"This is Doctor Patel. Are your breasts sagging, more work to smile because you are lifting sooo much saggitude around the eyes and cheeks. And speaking of cheeks...is your butt hanging so low you feel like you are monkey with a tail?

John

"Dr. Patel. My friend in New York is named Patel. Wonder if they are related?'

Adjin

'I'm think'n there's more than one family named Patel.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Oh yeah. Patel is soo a big family.'

Adjin sarcastically to John

'All related. One family.'

John

'Did not know that. I thought Patel in India was like Smith in America. But you say it's one family. Hmm'

Cosmic Surfer Shop Dude

'Sooo knew that...'

John

'Soo did not. Back to surfing. Where do you surf. I never see you in Seaside.'

Cosmic Surfer Shop Dude transcendental music plays.

'Close your eyes. Think of the mouth of the Toms River....now you are flying, crossing the Barnegat Bay...going across Island Beach State Park....right there. Empty. Natural. White sand dunes...Nirvana.'

Adjin, eyes closed. Being sarcastic

'Where'd you go...'

John

'Open your eyes...'

Adjin opens his eyes.

'Oh, there you are. Never leave me man.'

John to Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Nirvana. Good band.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'...soo good.'

Adjin whispers to John

'Where he says he surfs. He just described where the State Official Beach house is. He must be the Govenor of New Jersey.'

John to Adjin

'...did not know that. He's much thinner in person.'

Adjin

'Camera adds 100 pounds.'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude is busy fixing his hair.

John

'I will take the lemon wax. I'll smell like polished furniture. Chicks love that.'

Adjin to John

'Lemon-fresh Pledge. Chicks sooo love that. You'll be homey, furniture guy...'

Cosmic Surf Shop Dude

'Did not know that...'