Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Lady Di's ad brief


The walls of her office are covered with pictures of the Royal Family. David enters the office first and sits in the chair at the far left in front of the Account Executive’s desk. John goes to sit next to him.

David to John

‘Are you kidding me?’

John instead sits in the chair to the far right…leaving the center chair empty.

‘Why.’

Lady Di

‘Protocol. Keith is the creative director,

David and Lady Di say at the same time

‘front and center.’

They lean forward and high five each other

John rolls his eyes

Lady Di

‘we should fist bumped…high fiving is so last election’

Lady Di to John

‘So how’s the Jersey Shore?’

John

‘Just me and a man on the beach. The guy starts yelling at flocks of sea gulls to ‘get out’. They fly over his head and land right behind him. Makes him furious. Then the lifeguard yells at him to get off the beach for yelling at the birds and at me to wait ‘til there’s older surfers to go surfing.’

Lady Di laughs as Keith comes in.

Keith

‘Have we started the meeting without me?’

David exhausted

‘Noooooooooooo Keith.’
Keith

‘Well I am the…’

Lady Di

‘It’s good to be the King.’

John waves at the wall of Royals' pictures

‘Or future King.’

Lady Di

‘Nah, as a former Jewish Princess...I think Harry has more fun. Your body looks like Harry’s…only younger.’

John sees a picture of a naked Prince Harry with a red star covering his behind.

‘Only I don’t have a red star on my butt.’

Lady Di

‘No. You would get a gold star. Woo.’

Keith grabs an ad brief off of Lady Di’s desk.

‘Diane. What’s up with your client?’

Lady Di

‘They may have let a teeny, tiny bit of toxic waste leak into the Delaware River.’

Keith

‘So they need a big ad to cover up for it. We like big ads.’

John

‘We like oyster beds and horeshoe crab eggs that South American birds eat along the beaches on Delaware Bay.’

Keith

‘John is saying he can’t wait to work on your client’s ad.’

Lady Di

‘Well they must feel bad John. They live a state away from the ocean too.’

Keith

‘I’m liking the media choice. Green ads make a lot of green. We’ll get  the boys on this.’

Lady Di to David

‘You are oddly quiet today?’

David

‘High holy days.’

Lady Di

‘Oh the whole atonement thing?’

Daivd

‘No. The high part. Jewish girls taking days off gotta do something with their nights.’

Lady Di to John

‘I’m not that religious either. I think organized religion causes lot’s of problems.’

John

‘It works for me. But...in school I thought they should change the name of Germany before the East and West Germany could get back together.’

Lady Di laughs

‘Germany? Name change to what? Jewmany?’

John

‘Oh my God. Oh your God or whatever.’

David

‘And we’re done here.’

Keith, David and John turn to leave, their backsides to Lady Di.

Lady Di to John

‘Woo. John… gold star.’



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