The founding fathers could have used a brother.

　
John is looking out the window at the traffic moving south on Lexington Avenue. South towards the tip of Manhattan...New York Harbor, Liberty Island, Sandy Hook, Pt. Pleasant...Seaside Heights and Barnegat Bay. Towards home... where the only pressures are: is the surf up or can you get up early to catch crabs today...or watch seagulls...falling in line... with their beaks to the wind.

Email from Bernie to John

Why aren't you at the Timber Underwear meeting with us dear. We miss you. It's
Blythe...not Bernie.

Before John can answer the email... a second one appears.

Email from Bernie to John

Get in here now. Bernie.

Email from John to Bernie

K.

Email from Bernie to John

I see emailing I want running to meetings

John grabs his I Pad and paper and jogs down the hall. He runs into a meeting room with a large modern-looking table and views of the Chrysler Building. But his mind wonders to the way sea gulls stand on the beach...their beaks to the ocean breeze. That's how gulls stand unless...they think you have food. Then one sea gull will squawk, bascially, saying 'the food is mine'. This claim attracts other gulls who ignore the claim and go after anything they can get.

Blythe

'Welcome. welcome. welcome. We're brain-storming.'

John's Creative Director Keith gives him a dirty look. Bernie looks like he just said something nasty.

John remembers Keith hired him and obnoxtious Bernie keeps him employed and allows him to be a writer.

Bernie puts his hands out in a gesture to feel rain.

'There's no storming...I feel no rain. Is it raining brains Blythe.'

Blythe in her sing-song voice

'Actually John we are in the blue sky faze where we are throwing out ideas.'

Bernie

'Yeah, you can throw out everything....I've heard.'

John notices Keith looks angry...at him, not Bernie.

John thinks of some ideas he's had. But he says:

'Well Keith and I were kicking around some ideas. Keith should I tell them a few?'

Keith

'Yes. I thought some were good at the time...'

John

'Well, since the client agreed that we should use wedgies to show the quality and ruggedness of Timber Underwear. And they liked the 'Up Yours' tag line we came up with...like up your quality...'

Bernie to John

'You wrote that. Calm the f.. down. You look like you are about to be shot.'

Bernie's 20-something- year- old son.

'And Timber Underwear is big in Japan.'

John

'But the Japanese are small...why do they need big underwear...oh never mind. Big....successful.'

Bernie

'This business is killing me.'

John

'I wanted to show a re-enactment of the famous painting of the signing of the Declaration of Independence-with all of the Founding Fathers. I want a Black guy who has come from behind and is giving one of the Founding Fathers a wedgie. The headline would be...

The Founding Fathers Could Have Used A Brother.'

Keith

'Oh, I don't...'

Bernie

'Love it. We should have started out with no slavery...we all know our history. Funny.'

Bernie to his son seated next to him.

'Do you know your history?'

Bernie's son

'I went to the University of Miami dad.'

Keith, pointing his finger in the air

'Now that I hear it again...that was one of the ideas we were going to push.'

Bernie's son

'Then why didn't you.'

Bernie gives his son a dirty look to 'shut up.'

From the pressure, John goes into a daydream. He pictures everyone at the table as having sea gull heads, one is squawking...beaks are all pointed at him. During John's daydream, Keith has been pontificating on how the campaign would play out. Someone says:

'we could show Hitler getting a wedgie.'

John comes out of his sea gull heads daydream and says:

'No. Hitler wasn't funny. I don't want to make him funny. People say...like a Hitler. There is no like a Hitler.'

Bernie to his son

'Why don't you talk like that.'

Bernie's son joking

'I went to the University of Miami dad.'

David

'That kind of thinking... that's why I made John an honorary Heeb.'

Bernie to David

'Dressed all in black again David. Who died?'

Bernie to his son

'You went to college for what again?'

Bernie's son

'Art.'

Bernie to his son.

'Oh that's right, our artists in the Miami office got you through that choice.'

Bernie to John

'Next.'

John

'Saddam, Fidel Castro....my friend's grand mother had to flee Cuba because she was an elementary school teacher. Any leader who oppressed people or is a fake....we could write headlines for...right Keith?'

Bernie

'I don't care about elementary school teachers running away from Castro.'

Bernie to Keith

'But this is good.'

Bernie whispers to his son

'Have you done what I asked and tried to find out how he thinks of things...the process at least.'

Bernie's son

'He read too much. He surfs. Hits all the world's newspapers everyday. Scans them I'm guessing. John's here first every morning.'

Bernie to his son

'Very early? Good. Then he can start working with London too.'

Bernie to John

'K... as you say in your email. Go surf.'

John's face broadens to an actual smile.

'Really? Thanks.'

He grabs his stuff, runs down to his office, turns everything off and leaves.'

John to Receptionist

'Byeeeee...Bernie told me to go surf. Don't have to tell me twice.'

John hits the elevador and leaves the building.

Bernie

'Oh wait, I want to ask the kid something.'

Bernie, still at the meeting, emails John and gets no answer. Blythe phones him...gets voice mail.

Bernie phones the receptionist

'Call that kid. Tell him to call me back right now.'

Receptionist

'Surely. What kid?'

Bernie

'The kid, the kid, the kid...the writer surfer boy person John.'

Receptionist

'But Bernie...you told him to go surf. So he left.'

Bernie

'The web the web the web. I meant surf the web. This business is killing me.'

All the sea gull heads at the meeting table turn to look at Bernie.

Then a calm comes over Bernie. Is there more food to feed on?

Bernie

'Blythe. Bill the client for John's day.'

The sea gull heads at the meeting table turn away from Bernie. There is no more food. They turn their heads towards the ocean and the wind. John turns the corner at Penn Station leading to the North Jersey Coast train.