The NJ Transit song
John grabs a seat on a crowded train. Soon there is a woman
standing next to his aisle seat. The train begins to sway on the tracks. And
there’s a rhythm to a man bragging about some accomplishment in sales. Without
warning. the woman bends over. Her butt goes in John’s face. He expects an
apology, but realizes she is unaware. She must have lost all feeling in her
butt. Wonder if there’s a fund raiser for that?, John thinks. The beat of all
of this commuting scene makes John think of the time his father took him to see
The King and I. Shall we dance? Two people dancing across a huge floor…so much
room. The woman near John bends over again to get something from here purse-on
the floor. Her butt goes in his face
again.
John thinks of the Shall we dance song with new lyrics as
the woman’s butt hits his face again.
Shall we dance….in your pants…..la de da…shall we dance…in
your pants
All of a sudden, there is a female conductor in front of
him. I wasn’t singing that was I?, John wonders.
Conductor
Excuse me
John
Oh, no excuse me.
Conductor
Your ticket baby. You are cute but you still haveta have a ticket.
John
Oh, here.
The Conductor taps the woman on the shoulder who has been
putting her butt in John’s face.
Conductor to woman
I need your ticket. And you need to stop putting your butt
in the boy’s face every time you bend over. You know guys his age can’t take
anything.
Woman to John
I’m sooo sorry.
John to woman
My pleasure. I mean no problem.
Conductor to woman
Ya see baby.
John thinks. Oh that conductor woman calls everyone baby…not
just me.
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