I said Tapas Bar

John is sitting on the couch, talking to Adjin on the phone. A salty-fresh, sea breeze blows through the Irish lace curtains-blushed pink with the sunset.

John

‘You want me to go to a tapas bar?’

Just then Aunt Margaret stops, and looks shocked at what she’s heard. She goes into the kitchen to call Officer Mike.

John

‘So they’re hot little dishes…’

Officer Mike

‘Hi hon.’

Aunt Margaret

‘Can you do me a favor? Sooner than later….could you talk to John?’

Officer Mike

‘Why? Is he in trouble?’

Aunt Margaret

‘He and some friend are going to a topless bar.’

Officer Mike laughs

‘That’s kinda normal. But I don’t like the idea of him drinking and driving. And some of the people who go to those places are rough.  I’ll talk to him.’

Aunt Margaret

‘….and the topless women…you left that out.’

Aunt Margaret pokes her head into the Living Room where John is seated.

John

‘…sounds spicey. I like that…’

Aunt Margaret

‘Thanks. Stay safe.’

Officer Mike

“I will. I might pop over now. I’m on patrol anyway.’

Aunt Margaret

‘Thanks’

Aunt Margaret calls Father Thomas

‘Father are you busy? This is Margaret.’

Father Thomas                                                          

‘Yes. What’s on your mind?’

Aunt Margaret

‘Well it’s John. He and some friends are going to a Topless Bar. I don’t want him falling in with the wrong kind of people.’

Father Thomas

‘I’ll talk to him. Just because we can look at certain things, doesn’t mean we should. I’ll come over for a minutes. We have a good friendship…he’ll listen to me.’

Aunt Margaret

‘Thank you Father. He gets a little depressed around Father’s Day. But he has to learn not to listen to certain men and what they want to do.’

John on phone with Adjin

‘I’m just chillin…nothing going on. Oh wait. Officer Mike just pulled up in the cop car…no lights flashing. Bummer.

Officer Mike comes in front door. Smiles and sits across from John

John on phone.

‘Hold on.’

To Officer Mike

‘She’s in the kitchen.’

John turns his head… yells Cops theme song over couch towards kitchen and Aunt Margaret.

‘Bad, girl, bad girl…whatcha gonna do when he comes for you.’

Officer Mike

‘Actually, I’m here for you.’

John

‘Awkward.’

Officer Mike

‘You know when you first get out in the world. You want to see everything. The world. New York. Umm, naked women…’

John

‘But then as you get old… you don’t want to see naked women? When does that happen?’

Officer Mike

‘My point is…it’s ok to want to see naked women….’

Father Thomas enters the room just then.

Father Thomas

‘It’s not o.k to want to see naked women. Until you marry one. That’s what makes it special.’

John

‘Hi Father. My Aunt is in the kitchen. You raising money for something?’

Father Thomas

‘No. I’m here for you.’

John

‘k’

Officer Mike

‘But some places that have naked women. Well the people who hang out there aren’t that nice. And some of those dancing women on the poles…they don’t even like men. Lesbians. ‘

John to Adjin on the phone

‘Officer Mike is talking about naked Lesbian dancers on poles…no…it’s a bad thing…hold on. My Priest is here too. Naked women are for married guys. Really, Muslim guys hear that too? Hmm.’

John to Officer Mike

‘I have Lesbain friends in New York…they’re actually very warm to me…kinda homebodies.’

Officer Mike

‘Well, they are cold in the Topless Bars….they’ll just take your money or worst..’

Aunt Margaret enters the room.

‘That serial killer in Florida…they made the movie Monster about her…she killed men.’

John to Adjin on the phone.

‘We’ve got hot and cold running Lesbians here.’

‘Ok.’

John to Aunt Margaret

‘Adjin is coming over.’

Officer Mike

‘So if you go to a Topless Bar…’

John

“I’m not going to a….Aunt Margaret.   Adjin wants to go to a Tapas Bar in Toms River. It’s little dishes of Spanish food.’

Father Thomas laughs

‘So…well Johnny, at least you know there’s lot’s of guys who care about you. Plus you always have a Heavenly Father. We know how you get around Father’s Day.’

Officer Mike

‘I have to get back to patrol.’

John to Officer Mike as he leaves

‘Hey… the Jersey Shore is filming…just do a Snookie stake-out. Your are bound to prevent a crime.’

Father Thomas turns to leave.

Adjin enters the room. Looks around.

‘Where’s the Lesbians?’

The Irish lace curtains blow back and forth in the breeze.

Father Thomas looks at Adjin and John. Instead of leaving, he sits across from John.