In John’s office in New York City, John looks up from his work area to see David standing in front of him.
David
‘So it’s friendship time.’
John
‘You are always a good friend Stein. You are always rooting for me...or afraid for me. In the client meeting….every time I talked you looked like you were on a roller coaster.’
David
‘No. You did good. Roller coaster. (David looks at John’s torn sneakers.) You are soo Jersey Shore. But now you have to do good in the next meeting.’
John
‘Yeah what’s up with that? Why is the client going to be there when we’re pitching ideas around.’
David
‘Cause Keith has to show how he directs.’
John
‘But he does. Sometimes one of us says something and then someone else says something and we have a great idea.’
David
‘…or he takes ideas and just fleshes them out like an artist. Like me who is making much less. Anyway. He directs…not you. If you have to scramble ideas…do it.’
John
‘Well, I don’t want his job. I just wanna write… And I’d like to stay honest…you know, not become a creep…poser.’
David
‘God I know you. I know you like a book. Hmmm. O.K. think of it this way. He hired him and you are helping him. And….his direction does create a better idea sometimes...a lot of times.’
David’s phone has a text message.
David
‘Come on he wants us.’
The sun dazzles off the mirrored conference table. Keith’s highlighted blond hair looks like a halo. The client barely smiles at John. John is convinced he now hates his Bloody Hell Chips idea.’
John
‘Hey.’
Client
‘You gave us a good idea. You lot have to give me two more brilliant ones so we can start testing. Unless that’s all you’ve got.
John looks shocked.
Client smiles
‘That’s what you Americans say right?’
John
‘Tom Cruise said ‘that’s half of what I got.’
Keith and the Client look blankly at John.
John
‘In War of the Worlds….remember after his son was being a jerk and then he threw the ball at his glove hard…’
Keith
‘Not everyone knows all of Tom Cruise’s movie lines John.’
John’s face looks blank
Keith to the Client
‘He saw Mission Impossible…what like 5?’
John to Keith
‘So wrong.’
John to Client
‘I saw it 7 times. Not counting when I sat through it twice.’
Client
‘Right. I saw it once. It was good.’
Keith
‘So back to chips or crisps depending on where we sell them. Now we’re not here for quick slogans. ‘
Client
‘It’s all about the situation.’
John
‘He’s kinda old...late 20's. I saw him on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights. You know I live where they film.’
Client
“I don’t follow…’
David is laughing his butt off.
‘Not the Situation from the Jersey Shore. Keith wants us to create a situation to sell the bloody chips.’
Client
‘Still lost…almost amused.’
Keith
‘There’s a popular teen show with a guy with great abs….who at late 20's...by the way is not old at all John…who is called the Situation. He’s a reality show star….MTV.’
Client
‘Brilliant. This is like first hand research. Going to the populace…’
Keith
‘So I thought let’s make the situation about meeting or impressing a girl. That’s how you spend most of your time John right?’
Just then, John’s phone lights-up with a text message.
John’s Cell Phone
Text from Adjin
Hey! Wanna help me hang Banshee hair?
Keith
‘give me that please.’
John hands his cell phone over to Keith.
David is laughing hard
‘Now mister, when you are in school, you turn the cell phone off or the teacher will take it. Article #1 paragraph two of the no cell phones in school code of conduct.’
John
‘The teacher goes to take his student’s cell phone. The student opens a bag of Bloody Hell crisps.’
Teacher says to student...something like...
‘O.K. but put that away. ‘
The Teacher grabs a handful of chips and eats them. He walks to the front of the class. Starts to teach but his face turns red. Fire or blood is coming out of his mouth. He runs out of the classroom. teacherless classroom. The entire class take out their cell phones and talk.
Keith to David
‘There's something there. Write that down. You know John will just go onto the next idea without organizing anything. It’s good. It needs tweaking.’
John to Keith
‘See, you always make me think of things I never would have thought of…’
Keith
‘It’s called Creative Direction. And you are welcome.’
Client
‘I like it. And Legal approved 'Bloody Chips, they will make your mouth bleed.' You know, in case some idiots were to claim they did make their mouths bleed it had to go past Legal.’
Keith looks at David
‘Next.’
David
‘The teacher should be big and mean looking and the student with Bloody Chips should be small. And the scene should convey...the student...he's the hero…cause the class got to use their cells.’
Keith
‘Of course…well that’s a given. But good. Write it down.’
Client goes to talk. John’s phone is vibrating. Impulsively, he reaches across the desk and picks up the phone.
Client to John
‘Mind? I’m trying to get a read on you….what…your friend wants you to hang Banshee hair? What are you druids at Stonehenge USA. Oh and your friend said it’s genuine Banshee hair. Want to know how he can tell?’
John sarcastically
‘Yes please.’
Client
‘Cause the Banshee hair is made in China. Personally, I’ve never been to that part of Ireland. I’m a Waterford kinda lad myself.’
Everyone laughs. Bernie sticks his head in.
Without thinking how Bernie is listening. John explains to the client.
John
‘There’s a Haunted House ride. And my friend created a Banshee for the ride and now I guess he’s building on that.’
Client
‘You Americans always remember your heritage. Like you describe yourself as an Irish American I'll bet from that Celtic Cross you are wearing. The whole Irish Catholic thing. Your friend is using that heritage. And I’ll bet he’s never been to Ireland. I feel I’m gaining such an insight into you teens today. And good ideas.’
John
‘My friend’s from here but…Adjin’s dad is from Croatia and he’s not Catholic. He’s Muslim.’
Bernie
‘Or we could have said to the client….yes you are gaining insight and our research department will provide the exact information, demographics, psychographics…you need to sell your chips...'
David
‘Lady Ga, Ga-o-graphics.’
Client looks at David and laughs.
‘We’re good Bernie. I’m very comfortable with your team.’
Client looks at John
‘But, back to the important, no, dare I say, vital matter at hand: Are you going to help your friend hang the Banshee hair?’
John smiles and pulls at his Celtic Cross
‘Of course. I ain’t afraid of no Banshee.
Bernie turns to leave mumbling
‘This business is killing me.
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