Blythe runs frantically past John’s office in Bernie’s agency.
‘Where’s the kid?’
John gets up from his desk and runs out to the hallway.
John
‘I’ll help you find him Blythe. What does the kid look like?’
Blythe
‘You’re the kid. Quick, in your office. Please, please, please try to focus.’
John
‘k’
Blythe
‘Client. Consolidated Freight and Corn-based Chips is here.'
John
‘Just corn-based chips…cause potato-based chips would be a dumb name…’
Blythe excitedly
‘Shhh…calm down…’
John
‘k’
Blythe
‘We are having a client meeting as we speak. This new chip thing is very big Johnny.’
John
‘Big chips? How big?’
Blythe looks like her mind has been blown
‘What? The chips are….I assume they are regular sized. Anyway, the chips aren’t the point. The client’s business is to store and ship things…so the chips are incidental…the packaging and oh for God’s sake…selling is the thing. More chips more warehousing. But you don’t care about that.’
John
‘True.’
Blythe grabs John’s hand and drags him down the hall.
‘You have to help name the chips so 13-17 year old boys in the UK, Canada the US and Australia will buy them.’
And Bernie says f keith and David's feelings. You are to yell out good ideas so we look like an idea agency.’
John
‘Instead of a New York City-based agency with no ideas?’
Blythe opens the door. A model-thin man is speaking with a British accent. He is giving a Power Point presentation showing warehouses connected with straight lines=crisscrossing the globe.
Client
'Something has been placed out of order.'
‘Oh, bloody hell.’
Client fixes it and goes on with the presentation. John opens a package of chips. He eats one. It is extremely hot.
The client finishes and tries to act friendly.
Client
‘All of which gives you lot…a great and lucrative opportunity to name a global brand.’
John sketches a a guy with his mouth open with this copy:
Bloody Hell
The crisps soo hot…they’ll make your mouth bleed.
He speaks the words Stacey, in a British accent worthy of an American accent.
Stacey
‘Mouth bleed. Seriously’
John
‘What’s with the accent. Are you channeling Mary Poppins?’
Client puts his hand on John’s shoulder.
Client
‘Bloody Hell. Brilliant.’
John
“You inspired it.’
Client
“I said it. We need two more as good as that. Not right this minute of course. I have every confidence in all of you.’
Bernie
“They’ll come with something. We’re a creative factory.’
David to Creative Director Keith
‘Factory? Sweatshop!’
Client
“I’m beaming. Bloody Hell.’
John
‘Do you guys warehouse soda…like Coke or Pepsi or something? Cause these chips are really hot.’
Client
‘That’s not our business at all. Corn-based chips. It’s a logistics and right humidity expertise thing.’
Bernie glares at John
‘Of course we know that’s your business.’
John waves his hand.
‘Good-night everybody…’
Client puts his hand on John’s shoulder again and laughs.
‘That’s was a Seinfeld show. Quit while your'e ahead, wave and leave.'
John
‘So too late.’
Client
‘I can work with this agency.
Bernie almost smiles.
Crisps soo hot they'll make your mouth bleed.
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