Who would shoot a pilot whale?

The late winter beach is empty-white sand reaching to a green-blue ocean and light blue sky. Up ahead, a ghost town on the amusement pier with skeletal frames of rides, the Moby Dick ride and the haunted mansion. The black- brown utility pole logs cast a shadow on the ocean. But the shadow isn’t right…John thinks.  That’s a weird shadow. As he walks closer the color of the water isn’t just a darkened blue. And the sun would cast it to the front of the pier this time of day. It’s almost oval-shaped. Is it red? Red in the ocean. Dammit. Did someone decide to dump garbage off the pier just because they thought they could get away with it. The ocean is a wilderness. And it isn’t even America’s. It’s earth’s. There’s a concept. And the thing is leaking something all over. I surf right there. There’s crabs and fish and look at the sea gulls landing on it…what if it’s toxic to them. John looks around to tell someone. In the distance he sees a familiar figure jogging on the boardwalk. John runs across the beach to the boardwalk.

John

‘Officer Mike.’

Officer Mike runs over to the edge of the boardwalk.

John calls up

‘There’s something in the water.’

John turns around and points to the pier.

John to Officer Mike

‘See…at the end of the pier.’

Officer Mike

‘That shadow?’

John

‘It’s leaking reddish.’

Officer Mike walks down a ramp to the white beach.

‘Oh geeze.’

John

‘Who would dump something in the ocean.  Some dirt bag loser?’

Officer Mike and John walk across the beach

‘Some Dentist got fined for dumping some medical stuff in the ocean. Stuff he already pays to have carted away.’

They reach where the ocean turns the white sand bisque-colored where wet. Translucent crabs hurry to rebury themselves in the wet sand before little, brown spotted sand piper  birds –scurrying- can peck them.

Officer Mike

‘Johnny. That’s not garbage.’

John

‘No?’

Officer Mike

‘I’m gonna go up to the end of the pier.’

John

‘I’m going with you.’

Officer Mike walks up the beach with John  Five pearl white shells with purple trim are on top of a white sand castle.

Officer Mike

‘I think you should stay on the boardwalk.’

John

‘Why?’

Officer Mike

‘Remember how you got when a red fox came into town from Island Beach State Park. How you had a fight with people who wanted someone to catch it?’

John and Officer Mike reach the boardwalk and head to the pier. A plastic bag from 7/11 is on a bench, filled with pink-tan scallop and blue-black mussel shells.

Officer Mike

‘You are one crazy animal lover. And I don’t think you want to see what I think we might see…’

John

‘It’s an animal? Maybe it’s hurt. We can help it.’

John begins to run towards the pier. He climbs the fence.

‘Come on.’

Officer Mike unlocks the security gate.

‘John. Calm down. I have the key.’

John climbs down the other side of the fence as Officer Mike walks through the gate.

He runs after John. The big Moby Dick painting on the ride gleams white and cobalt blue in the clean, salty winter sunlight.

They reach the end of the pier…a railing breaking John’s stride.

John looking down  over the pier’s edge.

‘Oh my God…it’s a whale.’

Officer Mike

‘I thought so.’

John

‘I know animals don’t live forever – just like us. But’s it’s still so sad when they are sick.’

Officer Mike looks angry.

John

‘What? What did I say?’

Officer Mike

‘I think he’s been shot. Looks like a gunshot wound.’

John

‘He’s black and white. He’s a pilot whale. They have pods that take care of each other…unlike people. Who would shoot a pilot whale?

Officer Mike

‘There are lots of messed up people in the world.’

John sees the blood red waves splash up in the sun against the pier.

‘Who?’

Officer Mike is texting

‘See the holes near it’s blow hole. That’s a gun shot wound.  .30 calibre maybe. And that my friend will get a Federal investigation.

John

‘So much blood. And pain for nothing. Or worst…for fun.’

Officer Mike

‘Some fishermen shoot at dolphins cause they interfere with their catch. Or it could be that a bunch of guys – out in their boat-were fooling around and shooting at them. Shark fishermen shoot them before they bring them aboard. Maybe they got bored and started shooting everything. Anything.’

John sees the blood spread out to where he will be surfing soon.

‘Senseless death. Why did Triska have to die in Iraq. She was always the one doing things for people…the elderly. I can  still see her on the beach. Just in a white shirt and blue jeans…watching me surf. And I miss my father. And creeps who shoot life we’re supposed to protect…See on him…those marks. I think that’s where his family tried to help him. They will miss him.’

Officer Mike grabs John’s shoulder and they walk back towards the Moby Dick ride.

‘Let’s go.  There’s people who can handle this.’

John points to the Moby Dick ride.

‘When I read Moby Dick…I rooted for the whale.’

The whale beached on Allenhurst in October 2011.

Those with information about this whale shooting incident are asked to phone 732-280-8490.
If you were in the boat...speak up.

Creative meeting-including a client-8-p

In John’s office in New York City, John looks up from his work area to see David standing in front of him.

David

‘So it’s friendship time.’

John

‘You are always a good friend Stein. You are always rooting for me...or afraid for me. In the client meeting….every time I talked you looked like you were on a roller coaster.’

David

‘No. You did good.  Roller coaster. (David looks at John’s torn sneakers.) You are soo Jersey Shore. But now you have to do good in the next meeting.’

John

‘Yeah what’s up with that? Why is the client going to be there when we’re pitching ideas around.’

David

‘Cause Keith has to show how he directs.’

John

‘But he does. Sometimes one of us says something and then someone else says something and we have a great idea.’

David

‘…or he takes ideas and just fleshes them out like an artist. Like me who is making much less. Anyway. He directs…not you. If you have to scramble ideas…do it.’

John

‘Well, I don’t want his job. I just wanna write…  And I’d like to stay honest…you know, not become a creep…poser.’

David

‘God I know you. I know you like a book. Hmmm. O.K. think of it this way. He hired him and you are helping him. And….his direction does create a better idea sometimes...a lot of times.’

David’s phone has a text message.

David

‘Come on he wants us.’

The sun dazzles off the mirrored conference table.  Keith’s highlighted blond hair looks like a halo. The client barely smiles at John. John is convinced he now hates his Bloody Hell Chips idea.’

John

‘Hey.’

Client

‘You gave us a good idea. You lot have to give me two more brilliant ones so we can start testing. Unless that’s all you’ve got.

John looks shocked.

Client smiles

‘That’s what you Americans say right?’

John

‘Tom Cruise said ‘that’s half of what I got.’

Keith and the Client look blankly at John.

John

‘In War of the Worlds….remember after his son was being a jerk and then he threw the ball at his glove hard…’

Keith

‘Not everyone knows  all of Tom Cruise’s movie lines John.’

John’s face looks blank

Keith to the Client

‘He saw Mission Impossible…what like 5?’

John to Keith

‘So wrong.’

John to Client

‘I saw it 7 times.  Not counting when I sat through it twice.’

Client

‘Right. I saw it once.  It was good.’

Keith

‘So back to chips or crisps depending on where we sell them.   Now we’re not here for  quick slogans. ‘

Client

‘It’s all about the situation.’

John

‘He’s kinda old...late 20's. I saw him on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights. You know I live where they film.’

Client

“I don’t follow…’

David is laughing his butt off.

‘Not the Situation from the Jersey Shore.  Keith wants us to create a situation to sell the bloody chips.’

Client

‘Still lost…almost amused.’

Keith

‘There’s a popular teen show with a guy with great abs….who  at late 20's...by the way is not old at all John…who is called the Situation.  He’s a reality show star….MTV.’

Client

‘Brilliant. This is like first hand research. Going  to the populace…’

Keith

‘So I thought let’s make the situation about meeting or impressing a girl. That’s how you spend most of your time John right?’

Just then, John’s phone lights-up with a text message.

John’s Cell Phone

Text from  Adjin

 Hey! Wanna help me hang Banshee hair?

Keith

‘give me that please.’

John hands his cell phone over to Keith.

David is laughing hard

‘Now mister, when you are in school, you turn the cell phone off or the teacher will take it. Article #1 paragraph two of the no cell phones in school code of conduct.’

John

‘The teacher goes to take his student’s cell phone. The student opens a bag of Bloody Hell crisps.’

Teacher says to student...something like...

‘O.K. but put that away. ‘

The Teacher grabs a handful of chips and eats them. He walks to the front of the class. Starts to teach but his face turns red. Fire or blood is coming out of his mouth. He runs out of the classroom. teacherless classroom. The entire class take out their cell phones and talk.

Keith to David

‘There's something there. Write that down. You know John will just go onto the next idea without organizing anything. It’s good. It needs tweaking.’

John to Keith

‘See, you always make me think of things I never would have thought of…’

Keith

‘It’s called Creative Direction. And you are welcome.’

Client

‘I like it. And Legal approved 'Bloody Chips,  they will make your mouth bleed.' You know, in case some idiots were to claim they did make their mouths bleed it had to go past Legal.’

Keith looks at David

‘Next.’

David

‘The teacher should be big and mean looking and the student with Bloody Chips should be small. And the scene should convey...the student...he's the hero…cause the class got to use their cells.’

Keith

‘Of course…well that’s a given. But good. Write it down.’

Client goes to talk. John’s phone is vibrating. Impulsively, he reaches across the desk and picks up the phone.

Client to John

‘Mind? I’m trying to get a read on you….what…your friend wants you to hang Banshee hair? What are you druids at Stonehenge USA. Oh and your friend said it’s genuine Banshee hair. Want to know how he can tell?’

John sarcastically

‘Yes please.’

Client

‘Cause the Banshee hair is made in China. Personally,  I’ve never been to that part of Ireland. I’m a Waterford kinda lad myself.’

Everyone laughs. Bernie sticks his head in.

Without thinking how Bernie is listening. John explains to the client.

John

‘There’s a Haunted House ride. And my friend  created a Banshee for  the ride and now I guess he’s building on that.’

Client

‘You Americans always remember your heritage. Like you describe yourself  as an Irish American I'll bet from that Celtic Cross you are wearing. The whole Irish Catholic thing. Your friend is using that heritage. And I’ll bet he’s never been to Ireland. I feel  I’m gaining such an insight into you teens  today. And good ideas.’

John

‘My friend’s from here but…Adjin’s dad is from Croatia and he’s not Catholic. He’s Muslim.’

Bernie

‘Or we could have said to the client….yes you are gaining insight and our research department will provide the exact  information, demographics, psychographics…you need to sell your chips...'

David

‘Lady Ga, Ga-o-graphics.’

Client looks at David and laughs.

‘We’re good Bernie. I’m very comfortable with your team.’

Client looks at John

‘But, back to the important, no, dare I say, vital matter at hand: Are you going to help your friend hang the Banshee hair?’

John smiles and pulls at his Celtic Cross

‘Of course. I ain’t afraid of no Banshee.

Bernie turns to leave mumbling

‘This business is killing me.

               

Consolidated Freight, Warehousing & Corn-based Chips

Blythe runs frantically past John’s office in Bernie’s agency.

 Blythe

‘Where’s the kid?’

John gets up from his desk and runs out to the hallway.

John

‘I’ll help you find him Blythe. What does the kid look like?’

Blythe

‘You’re the kid. Quick, in your office. Please, please, please try to focus.’

John

‘k’

Blythe

‘Client. Consolidated Freight and Corn-based Chips is here.'

John

‘Just corn-based chips…cause potato-based chips would be a dumb name…’

Blythe excitedly

‘Shhh…calm down…’

John

‘k’

Blythe

‘We are having a client meeting as we speak. This new chip thing is very big Johnny.’

John

‘Big chips? How big?’

Blythe looks like her mind has been blown

‘What? The chips are….I assume they are regular sized. Anyway, the chips aren’t the point. The client’s business is to store and ship things…so the chips are incidental…the packaging and oh for God’s sake…selling is the thing. More chips more warehousing. But you don’t care about that.’

John

‘True.’

Blythe grabs John’s hand and drags him down the hall.

‘You have to help name the chips so 13-17 year old boys in the UK, Canada the US and Australia will buy them.’

And Bernie says f keith and David's feelings. You are to yell out good ideas so we look like an idea agency.’

John

‘Instead of a New York City-based agency with no ideas?’

Blythe opens the door. A model-thin man is speaking with a British accent. He is giving a Power Point presentation showing warehouses connected with straight lines=crisscrossing the globe.

 John and Blythe sit down.

Client

'Something has been placed out of order.'

‘Oh, bloody hell.’

Client fixes it and goes on with the presentation. John opens a package of chips. He eats one. It is extremely hot.

The client finishes and tries to act friendly.

Client

‘All of which gives you lot…a great and lucrative opportunity to name a global brand.’

John sketches a a guy with his mouth open with this copy:

Bloody Hell

The crisps soo hot…they’ll make your mouth bleed.

He speaks the words

Stacey, in a British accent worthy of an American accent.

Stacey

‘Mouth bleed. Seriously’

John

‘What’s with the accent.  Are you channeling Mary Poppins?’

Client puts his hand on John’s shoulder.

Client

‘Bloody Hell. Brilliant.’

John

“You inspired it.’

Client

“I said it. We need  two more as good as that.  Not right this minute of course. I have every confidence in all of you.’

Bernie

“They’ll come with something.  We’re a creative factory.’

David to Creative Director Keith

‘Factory? Sweatshop!’

Client

“I’m beaming. Bloody Hell.’

John

‘Do you guys warehouse soda…like Coke or Pepsi or something? Cause these chips are really hot.’

Client

‘That’s not our business at all. Corn-based chips.  It’s a logistics and right humidity expertise thing.’

Bernie glares at John

‘Of course we know that’s your business.’

John waves his hand.

‘Good-night everybody…’

Client puts his hand on John’s shoulder again and laughs.

‘That’s was a Seinfeld show. Quit while your'e ahead, wave and leave.'

John

‘So too late.’

Client

‘I can work with this agency.

Bernie almost smiles.

                                                                       Bloody Hell

                                           Crisps soo hot they'll make your mouth bleed.

'Patty...you inspired me. I did a portrait of you.'

John
'Voila. Your portrait.'

Patty

'....I'm speechless.'

John

'Oh. I forgot to say I did a portrait of you on the bungie ride....
you were coming down..see, your hair flying up and stuff...'

Patty

'Umm, not romatic much. You never saw that old movie Titanic. I'm gonna lend you the dvd.
There's a scene with an artist drawing a woman...you need to see it..it touched her heart...this is touched too...
my hips are thin...thanks.'

Aunt Margaret sticks her head in the room.

'I made cookies..oh my. '

Aunt Margaret stares at the painting

'Hmm. You know what I admire about you kids. None of you got into drugs.
That's never been a worry for me. Still shouldn't be...right?'

Adjin

'I love it.'

John

'Why thank you Adjin.'

Adjin

'Cause I love going to Six  Flags with you...riding roller coasters...Seaside Heights...doing the boards...so fun.
And when you get a girlfriend that will all end...or at least change.
So if you keep doing portraits like that for women... I figure we're good to go 'til we're 30.'

John

'Did Picasso's woman like his paintings...just asking.
Besides...this isn't done yet. It's a work in progress.'

Aunt Margaret and Patty at the same time.

'So are you Pablo.'

They almost high 5 correctly.