Whenever Mrs Swartz enters the agency, it’s always with an
entourage. More than walking in, she seems to being carried by good looking
men. But today, she didn’t glide past John’s office. Cleopatra Swartz dump
three brightly colored Hermes hand bags on his desk.
Mrs Swartz
Fun,
fun fun. This is going to be a fun day for you.
John
I don’t
usually carry a hand bag. But these are beautiful.
Mrs Swartz
They
are Hermes. $3000.000 each.
John
Wow. Impressive.
Mrs
Swartz
We are going to photograph them and have a chef create a
cake for my birthday. These are going to get me mentioned in the society
section of the Times.
John
Oh.
They have a section for that.
Mrs Swartz
Well it’s not for everybody. Anyway, I need a brilliant
headline from you about my birthday. I will be noticed.
John
You have awesome eyes.
You should do them up Egyptian style like Katy Perry.
The headline could be:
Cleopatra
Swartz.
Timeless
beauty is having the time of her life. And make your party for charity...it'll get press.
Mrs Swartz tears up.
It’s weird and wonderful. Charity. I'll build a public tennis court in the Hamptons. People have such long wait times in the summer. Perfection. She grabs her bags and heads towards David’s, Art Director’s
office. In a few minutes David runs into John’s office.
David
Do you believe this sh…. They are disgusting. They are disgusting
people. I hope she doesn’t even get in that paper when she dies.
John
Oh
David. I just remember they gave me a job as a writer.
David
$9000 for handbags. Then our time. Then hiring a chef to
make her f-ing birthday cake. Then I have to submit some little article. And
then they pay a lot of people around here nothing. No healthcare.
John
I’m just glad she didn’t knock my cherry coke over on them
when she threw them on my desk. What is her job here anyway...besides being Bernie's wife. I always see her coming in and out.
David
She’s the f-ing VP of Shopping.
David turns to leave and then turns back to John.
David
Did you think a
headline yet. Mr instant cliché?
John
Well she always comes in with these pretty slave men doing things
for her. So I thought:
Cleopatra Swartz
A timeless beauty is having the time of her life.
David
She’s
a queen? You playing up to her? F-you Johnny. Oh, I’m just going to do this
and get it off my desk.
and get it off my desk.
David turns and leaves. John thinks: David always acts like that around them. Like he's gotta prove he's a real compassionate liberal Jew and they're not. I don't think the Swartzs' have a religion And New Yorkers are always saying f this or f that or f-you or this is sh-t.
John emails
To David:
F
F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F FF F FFF
FF FF F FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Not very creative.
Just then The Creative Director Keith walks by, bends over to look at John’s PC’s screen as he happily says:
Keith
Are
we having a productive day? Oh. A lot of media won’t run that…even if you don’t spell
out the word. But I’m glad you are
getting past that Catholic,I won't curse. Although you only said the letter...still a little holier than thou aversion to cursing.
John
I’m not holier
than thou. I am holier then thee.
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