UM = clum

The clear,  blue sky allowed the sliver Chrysler Building to shine outside John’s office window on Lexington Ave. John was just thinking there’s not a cloud in the sky when a funny little one appeared in his office.

 David in front of John’s desk.

‘Soooo. Happy New Year!’

John

‘Happy…well yours is really in September.’

David

‘See. That’s why we’re friends…you're sensitive to me...my belief.  You’ve taken the time to know a bit about me.’

John

‘I try and you are a good friend.’

David smiling

‘Don’t try so hard.’

John

‘Why?’

David

‘Cause when you wrote your Season of Hope ad for Miami. I got  Bernie yelling at me on the phone.’

John

‘Why?’

David

‘Cause when you were told he liked your ad, you told the person to tell him UM=clum.’

John

‘Yeah, peace.’

David

‘No. That would shalom.’

John

‘No. Shalom is what those women on that TV Land show say: Shalom, shamozzel, hossenfeffer incorporated. Lavern and Shirley.’

David

‘You're quoting Lavern and Shirley Johnny? Shalom means peace. Lavern says 'shlameel.’'

John

‘Well what did I say?’

David

‘You said in Hebrew that the UN  means nothing.’

John

‘Oh I got that from that protest against the UN resolution against Israel…remember we marched, I got punched in the face by somebody who hates Jews.  And so he punched the only Christian in our gang: me. And you made me an honorary Heb.  And there were signs UM=clum and shalom. And 'a free Palestine state must recognize Israel'….’

David

‘And so I get the phone call that yells at me for getting the blond kid involved in UN politics….when he’s here to make Bernie money.’

John

‘So that’s a good thing. He thinks I make him money.’

David

‘K. We were talking about me.’

John

‘Oh, how was your holiday Hannachuch’

David

‘Stop. Stop. Stop. Your hurting my ears. Besides. The first night you get books….then a pad…then pens…then you realize it’s a back to school holiday.  That’s part of Richard Black’s routine.’

John

‘So Happy New Year David.’

David

‘Yes. Be insensitive like the rest of America. Oye  

John

‘Oyeee?’

David smiles and waves his finger at John

‘stop…’