When one door closes dear...you've probably locked yourself out.

John senses that someone is staring at him. He looks up from his desk to see David.

John

'Sorry, I've been working non-stop...'

David

'I don't see why. Keith has been working with the new biz guy Mike-pitching ideas and headlines-like he does it all. 'Cause you know who Mike talks to.'

John

'Everyone. He never stops talking...like he's running for mayor...'

David

'...he talks to Bernie. So if he tells Bernie Keith does it all...why does he need us?'

John looks sarcastically.

David

'Come on. They're always behind closed doors.'

John is silent.

David

'...oh let 'em get rid of us. They say when one door closes, another one opens.'

John

'My Aunt says when one door closes...you've probably locked yourself out.'

Dave laughs

John

'Without your keys. Besides, we don't want to work with them. They always have a cold....noses running.'

Dave puts a finger on the side of his nose and snorts with the other nostral.

'Or...'

John

'...stuffy nose.... I know. All the time...cold after cold. Drink some orange juice guys. Get a clue. '

David

'A clue...'

David under his breath.

'...Oh my God.'

John

'What?'

David texting

John's phone has a text

David

OMG  or as u lik 2 say OYG oh yoooooooour God. ;-)

Rise of the dicasaurus

The Creative Director Keith's office looks across at the iconic Chrysler Building at Lexington and 42nd Street. And yet the conversations...reminded John of some he had at Seaside Heights elementary school at recess.

Keith dramatically turns around to face John and David, seated across from his desk.

Keith

'You like birds John?'

John

'I love the sand pipers that run along the shore. And when the sea gulls are fying...as long as it's not over you...they look beautiful...black and white against...so much color...the ocean...the blue skies.'

Keith

'Well, a little birdie told me you and David brag about landing accounts and getting awards. Thought I had something to do with that.'

John

'I'm loyal..'

David

'I'm not. But I'm smart. And I don't knock Creative Directors. If the Account Executive don't respect you it's open season on us....we have to make alliamces and I just want to make good ads...'

Keith stares at David

..but that little birdie was quite convincing...'

David

'Named Mike...I knew what he was about...when I said we I meant the Creative Department..'

Keith

'You don't speak for the department. I do. Get it?' I'm gonna take Mike under my wing.'

A pigeon lands on the window ledge. So many shades of gray in the feathers, John thinks. Beyond the window...people walk on sunny Lexington Avenue- beneath the glimmering silver spire of the Chrysler Building. People are better as a concept, John thinks.

David and John leave Keiths office. David is quiet...which he never is, John thinks. He needs a laugh.

John

'Behold! The rise of dicasaurus...the biggest dic to walk the earth.'

David smirks.

'You are good with words...'

Michael sticks his head between them.

'Who we talking about?'

John to Michael

'You were named after Michael, an arch angel, leader of the army of God. Try to live up to it.'

Michael

'OMG Oh my God'

John

'OYG. Oh your God.'

Michael stands still as John and David walk on.

Michael

'Get a life,'

John turns back.

'Get an afterlife.'

The Merchant of Fear & the Feather Merchant

Bernie's head is focused on his desk top as Blythe breezes in.

Blythe

'Your great idea to keep a little fear...keep them on the toes. We are moving 90% of the Account Executives to different offices as we speak.'

Bernie

'Right. But why are we speaking?'

Blythe cheerily

'O.Kies then' 

Blythe goes on to supervise the move of fear. (which was first done by Bernie's competition...the other Bernie.)

David, standing in front of John's desk

'No, no, no. Aren't you getting anything out of knowing me...becoming a little more street?'

John

'I just said I feel sorry for anyone losing their jobs...'

David waves his hands at key points

'John. These m-o-v-e-s are all about fear. Actually that's what advertising is...'

John

'...merchants of fear. Like that...are you getting all moral on my ass?'

David

'Getting? The point is...when someone is really getting fired...they make sure someone else is in with their accounts. They never see it coming....'

Michael a tall, dark-haired guy breaks in.

'Hi. I'm Mike and you must be my new creative team. Im creative myself. I write and do art. I'll be giving you a lot of ideas.'

John

'Great.'

David

'No. You will give us the brief on the client, including research. And we will give you award-wining creative that gets and keeps accounts.'

Michael

'Should be news to your Creative Director. If you two do it all, what does he do?'

Michael pats John on the back and walks out.

David

'Another creep.'

John

'My dad used to call people like him 'feather merchants'. Basically, they try to sell you anything. You laugh at them...

David

'I'm not laughing. And I'm allergic to feathers.'

David leaves John's office.

John looks down at the nicely dressed people, happily walking and talking on sunny Lexington Avenue.

John to himself.

'People look soooo good from far away. Sometimes...people are better as a concept.'

Club Karma & the crossing guard's grand daughter.

Ajdin looks at John in disbelief  that he'd be thinking about religion while in Jersey shore's Club Karma.

Ajdin

'...you will focus on women...focus on women. I'm performing self-hypnosis on you.'

John

"Self hypnosis? Knock yourself out. Get it?'

Ajdin

'Why is the pretty girl in red shooting daggars at us."

John

'Oh her. That's the crossing guard's grand daughter. It's not at you..'

Girl in red makes her way through the crowd and leans against the bar John is seated at...'

Crossing Guard's Grand daughter

'..he just might save your life some day,'

John

'I don't need a crossing guard to cross freak'n Ocean Boulevard when it's kinda empty off-season.'

Crossing Guard's Grand daughter

'...some people think they're cool cause they surf...'

John

'Actually I'm not cool...I'm cold. That's why I was wearing a wet suit as I crossed the street with my bright blue surfboard. How could anyone not see me? Unless you are really old...'

Crossing Guard's Grand daughter

'...like my grand father...who wakes up to help kids across the street. Protecting strangers. It makes him feel...'

John

'Like Joe Cop with a badge...'

Crossing Guard's Grand daughter

'...no. Ah...valued. Like his life means something in this beach town that is all about people our age. Maybe you could have made him feel important or something. But no. You made him feel like a useless joke. But who cares? Surf's up dude!'

Crossing Guard's grand daughter walks away.

Patty grabs Ajdin and John's shoulders from behind and sticks her head between them.

'Are we having fun yet?'

Heaven isn't a gated community

Someone spilled drinks on the blue-lit bar at club Karma in Seaside Heights. As John gazes at the liquid, he imagines ripples on Barnegat Bay. And he sees a figure walking towards him, on the water. The figure is waving a finger at John as if to say...'oh no you didn't.'

Jesus

'Oh no you didn't. No you didn't blog that heaven is a place where everyone gets in...no matter what their religion. And the closer they get to the goodness of God, truly loving people-all kinds of people-the closer they'll be to God when they die. Have I got this right? You think that gets you past the pearly gates...'

John

'...I don't think heaven is a gated community. I don't think a loving God would be into keeping people out. And a vengeful God...isn't a God...to me. He would be a devil...if I believed in Hell...which I don't.' John gulps his beer.'

Jesus

'Well damn. Then what did I suffer on the cross for...'

John

'I got nothing...'

Jesus expression looks like 'I'm waiting.'

John

'You helped people understand about sacrificing for their fellow man...and truly loving each other...like God. And your rules bring people closer to God....but that doesn't mean following you is an excuse to....to gate people who are Muslims or Scientologists, or Jews or Hindisor Wiccas...out of Heaven. Shutting people out is hateful...and nothing hateful pleases God...'

Ajdin's fingers are snapping in front of John's eyes.

'Earth to John'

John

'Sorry...'

Ajdin

'What goes on in that mind of yours...'

John

'I was imagining a conversation with Jesus.'

Ajdin

'...in a singles bar? Way to get laid.'