I guess I'll just go East or North as the lights change until I hit Lexington and 41st John thinks as he heads up 34th Street. Ooo 'Macy's...the World's largest Store' John reads as he goes to cross 34th St. Look the Empire State Building is past those buildings and a yellow taxi screeching to a stop and a cab driver yelling, breaking me out of my daydream.
Cabbie
'Fucking zombie'
John
''Zombies don't fuck. They eat. It's an eating disorder. Like someone said 'eat me' and the Zombies were like 'k'.'
Cabbie
'Zombie'
John
'Word'
Cabbie drives on and John crosses the street to Macy's, Macy's, Macy's! What cool windows..such a sense of place or feeling.. Looks like people walking in an autumn wood... is that real leaves?
Reminds me of last weekend, speeding down the Garden State Parkway with my buddy Don -at like 100 miles per hour. Of course, John recalls, we hit a speed trap and get pulled over.
NJ State Trooper
"I've been waiting for an asshole like you all day.'
Don
"I got here as fast as I could."
.
Only Don could get off for being a wise-ass, John thought as he reached Herald Square.
The Empire State Building. Gold and black accents. Jazz Age excessiveness even the Depression couldn't stop in that building. Art Deco...my house is more art dicko John thinks. Plastic ornaments and string lights for every holiday. As John walks across from the Empire State Building, he thinks, I'm so glad they never built a bunch of buildings near it...can really see it. John looks up to the top, thinks wo that's high, makes me dizzy. You are dizzy John thinks as he hits 5th Avenue!
Why not walk up 5th? John thinks as he walks north and spots Lord & Taylor. Oh Lordy what troubles I've seen! Where the hell did that come from? Jimmy Johnson, 8th grade history. He got in trouble for saying that when we were studying the Civil War and slavery. Teacher said he wasn't taking his African American heritage seriously. Might be because his parents were from Aruba, John thinks. Enough of Memory Lane, you have to head towards Lexington.
That stranger who went out of his way to help me understand New York was great John smiled to himself. He was Hasidic Jewish. Now what did he say? Midtown...Avenues run north and south, streets run east and west with the numbers starting from 5th Avenue and getting bigger as they reach the East River or Hudson. That was nice of him. Don't know anything about that religion. None of my dad's Jewish friends dressed like that. When I was little, I thought all my dad's friends were Italian. Sol Zemmel...Italian. Milton Perlmutter...Italian. There was a meter to the way they told a joke...I could hear it from my bedroom John thinks when I was supposed to be sleeping- on a school night. Anyway, I'm officially on the East Side. Madison Avenue!
There's a peacefulness to the mix of brownstones and low-rise brick buildings as John enters Murry Hill. Little French restaurants, boutiques and spice stores. This feels like home, he thinks. How wierd. Walking a block past Madison, Park Avenue opens broad and wide -a grand avenue- and John can see the top of Grand Central as he nears Lexington Avenue. Look at all of those steps in front of that building. I'm gonna eat my lunch there. So open and sunny.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Moo-rons
As the train pulls into Penn Station, almost everyone is on their feet- except John. He thinks: I've gotta do this commute every day? John's father's words ring in his ears.
John
'I'm going to go into New York.'
John's Father
'...and out of New York and into New York and out of New York...'
With all purpose and no humor, the cattle car empties and people cram to get up stairs that were built in an era of less commuters. To push would be uncorporate. So many jockey for position by putting there briefcases or big purses between people and then moving into that space, I'd respect an honest push more, John thinks..
Humorless- they're a herd of over-achievers,.John thinks 'moo' not one person is gonna say 'moo'? Nope. Even though they weren't at work, they were already on the clock...focused on getting ahead.
Almost as soon as John was on the main concourse of Penn Station, a overly zealous, Asian man is talking loudly at him....not to him.
Asian man
'esus. esus save you.'
John shows his cross.
John
'I have my own religion. But good luck with yours.'
They walk quickly through the station, past bars, a Papa John pizza/Dunk'n doughnut joint, where people stand and eat around tall tables without chairs, and t-shirt shops. Finally the broad steps that lead up to the street. Still following, the Asian man seems to be speaking from a script..he's shoving some paper at John.
Asian man
'esus. esus save you.'
John
"I hope your religion works for you.'
Asian man
'esus save you'
John
"I'm thinking you are into Jesus."
As John and the stranger hit 33rd Street, John stops and turns to the Asian man.
John
'I do not like green eggs and ham.'
The Asian man stops and looks bewildered. John runs across the street thinking: I can out-nut a nut. Who's the nut now!, John thinks. Smiling, he heads...
...north I think.
John
'I'm going to go into New York.'
John's Father
'...and out of New York and into New York and out of New York...'
With all purpose and no humor, the cattle car empties and people cram to get up stairs that were built in an era of less commuters. To push would be uncorporate. So many jockey for position by putting there briefcases or big purses between people and then moving into that space, I'd respect an honest push more, John thinks..
Humorless- they're a herd of over-achievers,.John thinks 'moo' not one person is gonna say 'moo'? Nope. Even though they weren't at work, they were already on the clock...focused on getting ahead.
Almost as soon as John was on the main concourse of Penn Station, a overly zealous, Asian man is talking loudly at him....not to him.
Asian man
'esus. esus save you.'
John shows his cross.
John
'I have my own religion. But good luck with yours.'
They walk quickly through the station, past bars, a Papa John pizza/Dunk'n doughnut joint, where people stand and eat around tall tables without chairs, and t-shirt shops. Finally the broad steps that lead up to the street. Still following, the Asian man seems to be speaking from a script..he's shoving some paper at John.
Asian man
'esus. esus save you.'
John
"I hope your religion works for you.'
Asian man
'esus save you'
John
"I'm thinking you are into Jesus."
As John and the stranger hit 33rd Street, John stops and turns to the Asian man.
John
'I do not like green eggs and ham.'
The Asian man stops and looks bewildered. John runs across the street thinking: I can out-nut a nut. Who's the nut now!, John thinks. Smiling, he heads...
...north I think.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I lift my lamp beside the golden door: On seeing The World Trade Center
After Metro Park, the sight outside the train window goes from small towns on rivers to small urban centers. Then all at once, the World Trade Center and the rest of the New York City skyline comes into view-etched in the gold of the dawn. And although the Statue of Liberty is hidden by a small mountain, the inscription "I lift my light beside the golden door" comes to mind when seeing the dawn hit the World Trade Center. In fact, at one moment as the train moves, the yellow sun seems to rise between the twin towers-massive enough to be the golden door to every dream of everyone on that train, John thinks.
Pete used to work in those buildings, John thinks. That means something. He should be really proud of that accomplishment...and glad he got out.
Without warning, a big hill becomes a tunnel with a suction swosh. People get up from their seats and rush towards the doors to be the first to get off the train. So mature and business-like...corporate mode. No wonder even though the lights flicker off in the tunnel-throwing the train into complete darkness- no one cops a feel. Well, there's no reason for me to get up then! John jokes to himself.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
"The Trains to New York have New York on the front of them."
MetroPark Station is Madonna-era historic-dating way back to 1980something. Lot's of brick, orange plastic seats and other hard surfaces. 'Cause we like lots of noise, John thinks, and two glass windows where commuters shuffle up to get their tickets...like zombies. Actually, in Thriller, the zombies had more life in them. They danced and lifted their stiff legs. Wonder if these people ever lift their legs, John thinks as a voice breaks his daydream...
Ticket Taker
'Sir you are next.'
John
Oh sorry, daydreaming. 'Monthly to New York'
Ticket Taker
'What month?'
John
'Well, September right? I'm starting work today.'
Ticket Taker
'Yes but it's half over. So you could get a Weekly or 10 Trip.'
John
'What's a 10 Trip.'
Commuter Behind John
'Jesus Christ. A 10 Trip is 10 trips in and out of New York. A Weekly is a week's worth of trips.'
John
'Ha Jesus Christ. 'I thought my middle name was Jesus Christ growing up. My dad was always saying 'Jesus Christ you don't hold the tool like that...you hold it like this.' Bill Cosby wrote something like that.'
Commuter from behind
Laughs 'Where are you working kid?'
John
'I'm a writer..in advertising.'
Commuter from behind & Ticket Taker
'Buy 1 Weekly...they'll give you a week before they fire you...even in that business.'
John
'How do I know what train to catch to New York.'
Commuter from behind.
'The train will say 'New York' on the front.'
John dashes up the two flights of stairs.
"I don't care if I am a writer for a week...I can say I was a writer in NYC.' John thought.
His obvious happiness seemes to annoy some of the other veteran commuters trudging upwards. All of which makes John jump-skip a few stairs like a child-mostly out of joy...and also to annoy them more.
The train platform is crowded with commuters. Already poised to get ahead, many men put their brief cases at the edge of the platform...in case the train doors would stop in front of them and they'd get in first. As another commuter train rapidly approaches, the business men bend over to pick up their brief cases at the platform's edge.
"Wierd, ' John thinks, when they bend down to pick up their brief cases, their heads are over the track.'
The train rushes by and the men put their brief cases down at the edge of the platform again.
Pete
'Don't worry about them. Even if the train took their heads off, they could still work in Finance.'
John looks questioning
Pete
(whispers) 'They think out of their asses.'
John
''It is wierd how their heads are over the tracks.'
Pete
'They push all day long. I work in the World Trade Center. Push at Starbucks...'
John
''I'm lucky..I don't have to push...just have to dress like a slob and be immature.'
Pete
'Nice work...what do you do?'
John
'I'm a writer.'
Pete
'Where?'
John
'Midtown'
Pete
'Thar's easy...you stay on the train until New York. I have to get off in Newark and take the PATH to the World Trade Center. Oh, here's the train. Check out the crowd. They are such tight asses...they can't even fart. Nice talking to you. Talk to me tomorrow if you want to.'
John
(Bats eyes at Pete ) 'You had me at fart.'
People don't really push onto the train 'cause that wouldn't be corporate-and they are already in the sneaky corporate mind-set. They manuever their bodies and perform slow-mo body checks...like in hockey. As John sits in the train's tightest seat, the one facing two other seats, he sees a young corporate type body- check an older lady into a wall. That accomplished, he scores the seat facing John. These seats are so tight, Johns left leg is between Mr Corporate's legs. John shows his pass as the conductor comes through and John looks out the window.
The train mostly moves forward but also sways side-to-side on the rails. This motion causes Mr Corporate and John's legs to sway and slap one another in the inner thighs. Mr Corporate man looks at John. John thinks, 'well you got your seat dude.' Then John imagines where he would have put his legs if the older lady had gotten the seat. Mr Corporate fidgets and decides to cross his leg. This pushes his butt to the edge of the seat where John's knee keeps hitting it. Mr. Corporate fidgets again and puts his leg between John's legs again.
Mr. Corporate
'Commuting sucks.
John
"I''m a people person.''
Ticket Taker
'Sir you are next.'
John
Oh sorry, daydreaming. 'Monthly to New York'
Ticket Taker
'What month?'
John
'Well, September right? I'm starting work today.'
Ticket Taker
'Yes but it's half over. So you could get a Weekly or 10 Trip.'
John
'What's a 10 Trip.'
Commuter Behind John
'Jesus Christ. A 10 Trip is 10 trips in and out of New York. A Weekly is a week's worth of trips.'
John
'Ha Jesus Christ. 'I thought my middle name was Jesus Christ growing up. My dad was always saying 'Jesus Christ you don't hold the tool like that...you hold it like this.' Bill Cosby wrote something like that.'
Commuter from behind
Laughs 'Where are you working kid?'
John
'I'm a writer..in advertising.'
Commuter from behind & Ticket Taker
'Buy 1 Weekly...they'll give you a week before they fire you...even in that business.'
John
'How do I know what train to catch to New York.'
Commuter from behind.
'The train will say 'New York' on the front.'
John dashes up the two flights of stairs.
"I don't care if I am a writer for a week...I can say I was a writer in NYC.' John thought.
His obvious happiness seemes to annoy some of the other veteran commuters trudging upwards. All of which makes John jump-skip a few stairs like a child-mostly out of joy...and also to annoy them more.
The train platform is crowded with commuters. Already poised to get ahead, many men put their brief cases at the edge of the platform...in case the train doors would stop in front of them and they'd get in first. As another commuter train rapidly approaches, the business men bend over to pick up their brief cases at the platform's edge.
"Wierd, ' John thinks, when they bend down to pick up their brief cases, their heads are over the track.'
The train rushes by and the men put their brief cases down at the edge of the platform again.
Pete
'Don't worry about them. Even if the train took their heads off, they could still work in Finance.'
John looks questioning
Pete
(whispers) 'They think out of their asses.'
John
''It is wierd how their heads are over the tracks.'
Pete
'They push all day long. I work in the World Trade Center. Push at Starbucks...'
John
''I'm lucky..I don't have to push...just have to dress like a slob and be immature.'
Pete
'Nice work...what do you do?'
John
'I'm a writer.'
Pete
'Where?'
John
'Midtown'
Pete
'Thar's easy...you stay on the train until New York. I have to get off in Newark and take the PATH to the World Trade Center. Oh, here's the train. Check out the crowd. They are such tight asses...they can't even fart. Nice talking to you. Talk to me tomorrow if you want to.'
John
(Bats eyes at Pete ) 'You had me at fart.'
People don't really push onto the train 'cause that wouldn't be corporate-and they are already in the sneaky corporate mind-set. They manuever their bodies and perform slow-mo body checks...like in hockey. As John sits in the train's tightest seat, the one facing two other seats, he sees a young corporate type body- check an older lady into a wall. That accomplished, he scores the seat facing John. These seats are so tight, Johns left leg is between Mr Corporate's legs. John shows his pass as the conductor comes through and John looks out the window.
The train mostly moves forward but also sways side-to-side on the rails. This motion causes Mr Corporate and John's legs to sway and slap one another in the inner thighs. Mr Corporate man looks at John. John thinks, 'well you got your seat dude.' Then John imagines where he would have put his legs if the older lady had gotten the seat. Mr Corporate fidgets and decides to cross his leg. This pushes his butt to the edge of the seat where John's knee keeps hitting it. Mr. Corporate fidgets again and puts his leg between John's legs again.
Mr. Corporate
'Commuting sucks.
John
"I''m a people person.''
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Getting there from nowhere.
Hey here's a vision for a state! Let's just build 4 bedroom homes and luxury apartments everywhere-creating a Los Angeles connected to a New York City. A things are the thing mentality-let's put so much pressure on ourselves that we use a GPS to get there as we go. See how far our drive takes us...like into each other lanes-whether we're driving or maneuvering to be first onto a train.
The big thinkers in the Garden State do try to make life better. Like they improved the road John takes to get to the train station: Oak Tree Road. They knocked down 100 year old Oak Trees to widen it. Oak Treeless Road leads to New Jersey's version of the Valley of the Paraohs - a monument to commuter kings rising tan and square above the Coastal Plain. And the state gave the train station to New York an evocative name that will live on through the ages: MetroPark. A vast, parking garage monument, Meto Park allows the Gods of Wall Street to live among themselves-away from multi-cultural New York City. Partying and working hard in New York City and being silver, mini- van respectible in an upscale New Jersey towns.
John guesses, to confuse desert bandits as to the location of the MetroPark tomb, the State of New Jersey placed conflicting signs on how to enter and park.
'Right lane monthly parking. Not for long term use.'
'Left lane, daily parking, long term on 4th level.'
No discharging people in front station.'
'Yield to pedestrians-it's the law!'
If no one can get out in front of the station, what pedestrians would I yield to? John thinks.
'Oh come on. can't I hit just one' John thinks see the $2000 suiters who just cut off people to park first. And just like in Egypt, John imagines though he's only been to New Egypt NJ, the most impressive posessions in surburban life- mercedes and jags- must be left behind in the tomb: Metro Park. John's possession was a tiny clown car: a GEO Tracker. I hope no one steals it while I'm in NYC John thinks. Well if somebody does...they need to look for a really stupid crook.
The big thinkers in the Garden State do try to make life better. Like they improved the road John takes to get to the train station: Oak Tree Road. They knocked down 100 year old Oak Trees to widen it. Oak Treeless Road leads to New Jersey's version of the Valley of the Paraohs - a monument to commuter kings rising tan and square above the Coastal Plain. And the state gave the train station to New York an evocative name that will live on through the ages: MetroPark. A vast, parking garage monument, Meto Park allows the Gods of Wall Street to live among themselves-away from multi-cultural New York City. Partying and working hard in New York City and being silver, mini- van respectible in an upscale New Jersey towns.
John guesses, to confuse desert bandits as to the location of the MetroPark tomb, the State of New Jersey placed conflicting signs on how to enter and park.
'Right lane monthly parking. Not for long term use.'
'Left lane, daily parking, long term on 4th level.'
No discharging people in front station.'
'Yield to pedestrians-it's the law!'
If no one can get out in front of the station, what pedestrians would I yield to? John thinks.
'Oh come on. can't I hit just one' John thinks see the $2000 suiters who just cut off people to park first. And just like in Egypt, John imagines though he's only been to New Egypt NJ, the most impressive posessions in surburban life- mercedes and jags- must be left behind in the tomb: Metro Park. John's possession was a tiny clown car: a GEO Tracker. I hope no one steals it while I'm in NYC John thinks. Well if somebody does...they need to look for a really stupid crook.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Reincarnation Central: Heaven.
The living don't get. Whenever they imagine Heaven, they think of gold thrones and gates and red and gold colored clouds at dawn and glory-or God's power. That's all material-world stuff. And all of that stuff is what keeps us from experiencing true moments of heaven on earth: connecting spiritually with the essence of people.That's why John's soul isn't surprised at the 'look' of bewilderment at newly arrived souls to Heaven.
John's soul to newly arrived soul:
"I'm guessing you are hoping along about now that you are dreaming. Welll, the good news is you're in Heaven. The bad news is you're dead.What can I say? No one really expects it.
John's soul remembers squinting trying to read a license plate, attached to a truck careening toward him... thinking, wow, that pick-up is driving crazy. What's on his license plate. Reads:
"Grace Happens?" Nooo doesn't say that.
"Shit Happens?" Nooo
"Death Happens."
John's soul in Heaven, to the newly arrived soul.
"Next thing I knew...I could've been at the International House of Pancakes...as a pancake. So you are dead. Don't believe me? Look at yourself. Yup you are a white rod of light...like me...like all of them " said John's soul.
John's soul gesters across the Heavenscape. As far as the mind's eye can see, there are white rods of light, suspended in mid-air-floatimg. If you were able to look down, there would be a bright center with uncalculatable numbers of souls-white rods- surrounding the center light
John's soul
"Look around. All the souls have the same brightness. See that trio, one of them is Paris Hilton- looking just as bright as everyone else. She's next to...hmm Albert Einstein.
Einstein
'The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'
Paris
'That's hot.'
Oh look. Einstein is moving away from Paris fast. If you'd keep going out that way past her things get nasty. People used to think of a hell with volcanic eruptions. But it's only..Mel Gibson types. If he was angry as a wealthy, good looking, talented White man in Malibu...wait 'til he hears the big They thinks it would be good for his souls growth to be reincarnated into the body of a Black Ethiopian Jew.
John's soul gestures and says:
"And way, way past these angry little souls- you'd find all the criminals. The further you go out that way, the lonlier and colder it is because you are moving away from God. You'd think you'd find the worst of the worst there but you won't find Hitler's soul there. He's reincarnated as a Jewish woman in some Middle Eastern country-not Israel. I'm sensing you don't remember your life and the meaning of it. I'll help you remember how the perfecting-the-soul-to-get-closer-to-God thang works. "
John's soul ponders...looks out at the endless soulscape.
"I remember everything now and I'm ready to talk about my life as a writer. I was White this time. I was born with a lot of empathy and compassion towards certain people because of the lives I've lived before. I know how some soul feels because I've lived their life. I've been a Black slave...imagine that! Remember that Disney film with the slave, dancing down the lane, singing "zippity do da"? Well actually being a slave was all 'do'-no zippity. Da! Not happy...oh Lord, the troubles I've seen. Sorry, that just came out...past lives do.My back still hurts from being Japanese.
Newly Arrived Soul
'Were you a Japanese laborer?'
John's soul
'No, my back still hurts from all the bowing...you know....it's a saving face thang...which is good.'
I've been a begger, a Hindi in rags and a homeless Jew in Egypt wondering arround the desert. Can I just say this...don't ever follow a man...if he gets lost in the desert, he won't ask for directions. Comfortable shoes are so important. Are you writing these tips down. Oh well... enough of the trip down schmatta lane. Let me show you around Heaven more." said John's soul.
John's soul mentally gestures-everyone in Heaven communicates mentally-away from where he and the recently arrived soul were looking.
"In the opposite direction from the angry souls, see it get's brighter way over there. And see that bright center of love and good thoughts and deeds.-with all those souls joining in? When I first got here I thought that bright center of light was Alyssa Milano...you know, always thinking of ways to help people. But that bright center of goodness is even bigger than Allysa Milano on Twitter...it's actually God.
God
'Well duh.'
John's soul to Newly Arrived Soul
'Hear that? God should not be saying 'duh' to souls who mistake him for Alyssa Milano...that's all I'm saying." Before I was following Alyssa, I was following Kim Kardashian. She stopped short and it took me half an hour to get my head out f her ass.'
John's soul to God
'Oh come on, that was good.'
John's soul stares towards the bright center and 'says' to New Soul:
"You and I can't get there next to God yet. I'm not ready and you aren't ready. What were you thinking? In Vegas, Celine dramatically begins to sing that Titanic love theme 'My Heart Will Go On'. And you stand up and sing 'My farts will go on'... Dude, you should have known those queens would throw you off the balcony for that. Although, I must say Celine is a trooper, she finished 'My Heart Will Go On' even as they carried your body out. Anyway, if we want to get closer to God in Heaven, we have to become more like God in life...compassionate...stuff like that. Getting closer to God takes being born again into a human being and gaining more empathy for humanity by experiencing a life."
John's soul mentally shakes his head and says:
"...which brings me to my last life. Talking out our past lives in Heaven gets us ready for the next one. So you might be here to help me... help me process what I've learned. So what did I learn. Well, if someone gives you the finger, rather than giving them the finger back, you can either smile and ask "now?" Or say: "Don't Mel Gibson me bro." Or when a truck is racing towards you with a 'Death Happens' license plate...don't read the license plate...get out of the way. So many angry people in my lifetime. And me... a sensitive, day-dreaming writer in New York City in ruthless, souless, advertising. You know come to think of it...I'm gonna be a freak'n accountant next time around.".
John's soul to newly arrived soul:
"I'm guessing you are hoping along about now that you are dreaming. Welll, the good news is you're in Heaven. The bad news is you're dead.What can I say? No one really expects it.
John's soul remembers squinting trying to read a license plate, attached to a truck careening toward him... thinking, wow, that pick-up is driving crazy. What's on his license plate. Reads:
"Grace Happens?" Nooo doesn't say that.
"Shit Happens?" Nooo
"Death Happens."
John's soul in Heaven, to the newly arrived soul.
"Next thing I knew...I could've been at the International House of Pancakes...as a pancake. So you are dead. Don't believe me? Look at yourself. Yup you are a white rod of light...like me...like all of them " said John's soul.
John's soul gesters across the Heavenscape. As far as the mind's eye can see, there are white rods of light, suspended in mid-air-floatimg. If you were able to look down, there would be a bright center with uncalculatable numbers of souls-white rods- surrounding the center light
John's soul
"Look around. All the souls have the same brightness. See that trio, one of them is Paris Hilton- looking just as bright as everyone else. She's next to...hmm Albert Einstein.
Einstein
'The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'
Paris
'That's hot.'
Oh look. Einstein is moving away from Paris fast. If you'd keep going out that way past her things get nasty. People used to think of a hell with volcanic eruptions. But it's only..Mel Gibson types. If he was angry as a wealthy, good looking, talented White man in Malibu...wait 'til he hears the big They thinks it would be good for his souls growth to be reincarnated into the body of a Black Ethiopian Jew.
John's soul gestures and says:
"And way, way past these angry little souls- you'd find all the criminals. The further you go out that way, the lonlier and colder it is because you are moving away from God. You'd think you'd find the worst of the worst there but you won't find Hitler's soul there. He's reincarnated as a Jewish woman in some Middle Eastern country-not Israel. I'm sensing you don't remember your life and the meaning of it. I'll help you remember how the perfecting-the-soul-to-get-closer-to-God thang works. "
John's soul ponders...looks out at the endless soulscape.
"I remember everything now and I'm ready to talk about my life as a writer. I was White this time. I was born with a lot of empathy and compassion towards certain people because of the lives I've lived before. I know how some soul feels because I've lived their life. I've been a Black slave...imagine that! Remember that Disney film with the slave, dancing down the lane, singing "zippity do da"? Well actually being a slave was all 'do'-no zippity. Da! Not happy...oh Lord, the troubles I've seen. Sorry, that just came out...past lives do.My back still hurts from being Japanese.
Newly Arrived Soul
'Were you a Japanese laborer?'
John's soul
'No, my back still hurts from all the bowing...you know....it's a saving face thang...which is good.'
I've been a begger, a Hindi in rags and a homeless Jew in Egypt wondering arround the desert. Can I just say this...don't ever follow a man...if he gets lost in the desert, he won't ask for directions. Comfortable shoes are so important. Are you writing these tips down. Oh well... enough of the trip down schmatta lane. Let me show you around Heaven more." said John's soul.
John's soul mentally gestures-everyone in Heaven communicates mentally-away from where he and the recently arrived soul were looking.
"In the opposite direction from the angry souls, see it get's brighter way over there. And see that bright center of love and good thoughts and deeds.-with all those souls joining in? When I first got here I thought that bright center of light was Alyssa Milano...you know, always thinking of ways to help people. But that bright center of goodness is even bigger than Allysa Milano on Twitter...it's actually God.
God
'Well duh.'
John's soul to Newly Arrived Soul
'Hear that? God should not be saying 'duh' to souls who mistake him for Alyssa Milano...that's all I'm saying." Before I was following Alyssa, I was following Kim Kardashian. She stopped short and it took me half an hour to get my head out f her ass.'
John's soul to God
'Oh come on, that was good.'
John's soul stares towards the bright center and 'says' to New Soul:
"You and I can't get there next to God yet. I'm not ready and you aren't ready. What were you thinking? In Vegas, Celine dramatically begins to sing that Titanic love theme 'My Heart Will Go On'. And you stand up and sing 'My farts will go on'... Dude, you should have known those queens would throw you off the balcony for that. Although, I must say Celine is a trooper, she finished 'My Heart Will Go On' even as they carried your body out. Anyway, if we want to get closer to God in Heaven, we have to become more like God in life...compassionate...stuff like that. Getting closer to God takes being born again into a human being and gaining more empathy for humanity by experiencing a life."
John's soul mentally shakes his head and says:
"...which brings me to my last life. Talking out our past lives in Heaven gets us ready for the next one. So you might be here to help me... help me process what I've learned. So what did I learn. Well, if someone gives you the finger, rather than giving them the finger back, you can either smile and ask "now?" Or say: "Don't Mel Gibson me bro." Or when a truck is racing towards you with a 'Death Happens' license plate...don't read the license plate...get out of the way. So many angry people in my lifetime. And me... a sensitive, day-dreaming writer in New York City in ruthless, souless, advertising. You know come to think of it...I'm gonna be a freak'n accountant next time around.".
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