No, this is a disaster.
Pat texting to John
Where are u guys?
John texting to Patty
I’m where people grow corn instead of getting it out of a
can like normal peeps.
Pat
When did u guys decide to get out?
John
When the Weather Channel truck pulls up in front of your
house…it's time to leave.
Pat
This girl is on fire-ah.
Alicia Keys
John texting
Only you can prevent forest fires. Smokey the Bear. He’s my
neighbor in the Pine Barrens.
Patty
Not interested in hairy bears. Like my men smooth.
John
Nope, you aren’t that particular. You like them breathing.
Patty texting
Just for that: we are never, ever, ever…getting back
together. As your in-your-dreams girlfriend Taylor would say.
John
…and say, and say, and say in the shelter. Did you know you
could play never, ever, ever getting back together 41 times in one hour…some
girl did in the bunk near me in the evacuation shelter taught me that. I said I love Taylor...she's made other songs.
Patty
Laughs
John
Like ever.
Patty
Adjin did well.
John
Really
Patty texting
Got a new back seat for his car
John
Really
Patty
Yup, it was floating in Barnegat Bay. Fit right in the back.
John texting
He’s green like dat
Patty
How did your Aunt do with the disaster?
John
This is the disaster. We have to boil water before using it.
Patty
So? Your Aunt can boil water.
John
I don’t think so.
Patty
Oh come on. She’s not a good cook but she can boil water.
John
Not in the pot she just grabbed and is trying to fill. It’s
the strainer pot with the holes in it that you use to strain pasta. It goes
inside a pot without holes.
Patty
She must be exhausted. You could help her you know,
John
Nope I’m following my calling: talk stupid
to your good friend and put it up on
twitter.
Patty
Making a difference.
John
Well if I made a difference…what the heck would Jon Bon Jovi
and Springsteen do?
