The banshee of Barnegat Bay

As Patty continues her trek around foggy, Barnegat Bay she can't believe how she worked herself up in front of Nautical Notions. And all over a carved seaman she's passed all summer long! She glances towards the dead-gray-colored bay. The black poles where people moor their boats look like peg legs in the mist, she thinks. Wonder if anyone is crabbing on the dock she... as she walks further. I can't even see the dock she realizes. An inhuman moan. That came from across the bay. From where the bridge is...Patty thinks as she hears unseen moaning again in the fog. She squints to see better. Two ghost headlights are moving in the area where she knows the bridge is. Wonder if anyone ever died off that bridge? Patty, stop it right there, she thinks as she walks faster. You're working yourself up again.
 
As she walks in front of the Welcome to Seaside Park sign, she turns to look for the source of the banshee moan noise growing closer. It is now joined by a bone-rattling, click, click, clack, clack, clack. Click, click, clack, clack, clack sound. Oh great Patty thinks, if there's anything scarier than the dead...it's a live wierdo. Especially...in a deserted, foggy, off-season shore town. Just be streetwise Patty...if he comes at you you'll run...towards the ocean and John's house. Fear. She hears every sound....even the worst one to hear. Right behind her there's the sound of tires on gravel. He's following her in his car. Patty walks faster. Maybe he'll pass her by. She looks around. Every house is empty. No lights. Not one! A blast of sound...a banshee screaming.

Slowly Patty turns around. Her head feels safe in her hooded sweatshirt jacket. It frames her view...like looking outside. But she's not safe inside. And whatever it is... is very close. Patty's face goes from fear to anger. She sees the car. She marches over to the car's driver's side to Adjin and punches him in the arm.

Patty

'You scared the ...you scared the ....out of me.'

Adjin

'Why? Who else would have a banshee in the backseat? It's the one from the boardwalk...in front of the haunted house ride. Cool eh?'

Patty

'Yeah, who else?'

Adjin

'Well, Happy Halloween to you too.'

When Barnegat Bay haunts like an antique mirror.

The autumn light shines gray through the slate sky over Barnegat Bay.  Peaking out her window on Pelican Island, the bay reminds Patty of looking into an antique mirror: shadowy, distorted, reflections, tarnished black near the docks. You see yourself differently....in that relection...kinda what you bring to the mirror enters into it. Framed by a lifeless off-season Jersey Shore, today the only thing missing from the haunted bay is a fog bank and rolling sea mist.

At about 3, just in time for me worry about walking along the bay and up to the ocean to John's Aunt's house, Patty thinks, the fog rolls in. But it isn't until she steps outside that she realizes how murky and indistinguishable the world has become. Is it the mist that is making me shiver, the loneliness or how the fog is making ghostly outlines of cedar shake houses. Even the front cottage gardens resemble grave yards with boney, dead twig hands reaching for the sky.

Walking off the porch, she laughs at her unsafe feeling. Seaside Park isn't the kind of place where you have to be streetwise. The wealth ensures mostly wealthy people own vacation houses here. As she makes her way down the grassy path in front of Nautical Notions, she has to remind herself of that. Still, wealth attracts creeps. And they are only a bridge away from strangers. Looking up the path and to the right is a figure in the mist. Oh...who is that?, Patty thinks. Maybe I know him. Is he walking towards me? Most people say hello...there's so few of us who live here year-round. The mist billows around him. Obscuring him and then revealing him again. Is he walking towards me? You know on Discovery ID...lot's of times the nut is the next door neighbor, she remembers. She slows down her pace. Is he waiting for me to walk closer to him? We'll, if he moves, I'll just run across the street, she decides. But he's not moving. He's standing there in the sea grass. Oh...maybe he's staring out towards the bay. Maybe he doesn't see me at all, she reassures herself.He's like...6 foot. Big. Patty trips and all of her senses are heightened.  She has goose bumps. Her mind is telling her to stop, stop stop. Don't walk closer to him. Patty stops and looks across the street. There are no lights on in any of the houses. People are either gone for the season or at work. She looks back at the man at a momentary lull in the mist. I can make out a face. He's smiling at me, Patty thinks. I can make out a...

Patty calls out.

'Hey'

Figure in the mist

no answer

The grasses around Patty's feet blow against her legs-reaching out like tiny fingers to grab her.

Patty yells.

'Do I know you?'

Figure in the mist

no answer

Patty gets a glimpse of a smile.

Patty

'Creepy day right?'

Figure in the mist smiling

no answer

God he's a big guy, Patty thinks. If I move...will he move? Like on Animal Planet? You run the animal thinks you are prey? Could I make it back to my porch. Doesn't matter, mom and dad are both at work. Shoot. And my cell phone is in the house.

The mist has billowed in thick around the figure again. She can barely see him.

Patty

'Answer me dammit.'

Oh that was smart Patty she thinks. Get the smiling maniac angry. Or maybe he gets off on scaring women.

The figure disappears in the mist. Did he move?, Patty asks herself. Fear takes over and she is running across the street with someone close behind. Someone is grabbing the back of her hooded sweat shirt jacket. She bolts and turns around. She puts her hood up. Then realizes with it up she can't hear who's behind her. What if he made an end run and is behind her. She spins around. No one. Her heart is pounding. Oh, she realizes. No one chased me...that was my hood flopping up and down on my back.

She stares across the street. Oh, my God. I was by the Nautical Notions driveway. That man in the mist is that stupid, big, carved sailor smiling at me. Nobody bought that thing all summer.

Patty yells across the street

'Screw you...you  Popeye wannabe!'

The back seat driver.

The boulevard in Seaside Heights is empty and dark as John and Patty walk up to Adjin's car....sitting in the middle of the street.

John to Adjin

'Soooo, what's new?'

Ajdin

'shut up...help me and push.'

Patty

'we'll push.'

Adjin gets out of the car.

'I'll push, Patty you steer.'

John and Adjin begin to push and the car starts to get up speed...until Patty puts on the brakes. Adjin almost falls over the trunk. He goes to ask Patty why she put the brakes on and John stops him.

John

'No...let me ask. You've gotta be ....you know...sensitive...diplomatic with her.'

John walks up to the driver's side window.

'Patty, what the hell?'

Patty

' I feel like this front seat is gonna fall back. And there's no freak'n back seat.'

John

'Just steer and when we get up speed ...turn it on.'

John and Adjin push and the car gets up a little speed. Patty turns the ignition and the car starts. The guys stop pushing, stand and cheer. Then they chase the car as the driver's seat gives way and Patty falls back into the back seat. The car looks like a ghost car as it goes across Lafayette Street, driverless...... and parks perfectly against the curb. Adjin opens the back door and lifts Patty and the driver's seat back in place. He puts the brick back under the driver's seat that keeps it upright.

Adjin

'You o.k.? That almost never happens.'

Patty jumps out laughing. Within seconds a police car rounds the corner with a spotlight on.

Officer Mike

'What's up guys?'

Adjin

'Nothing. Same ole same ole.'

Officer Mike

'You guys seen anything suspicious?'

Patty and John

'No Officer Mike.'

Officer Mike

'Well, you know it's off season. Us townies have to keep Seaside Heights safe.'

Adjin

'We're on it.'

Officer Mike shines a light on the car.

'Good, good. Adjin, that's an awful lot of American flags on your car.'

John

'Everytime there's 9/11 he puts new one's up.'

Officer Mike

'Oh, to remember.'

John

'No. To forget he's a Muslim...American.'

Adjin

'Shut up.'

Patty

'It's true. And we don't put flags up to prove we're American to anyone. He shouldn't either.'

Officer Mike, as he drives off.

'No let him. That's a good thing.'

John

'See the kinda person you please with all the flags?'

Adjin

'I know. Right?'

John looks at the Lafayette Street sign.

'Think he knows about Lafayette?'

Patty

'Yeah, it's a street.'

English Muffins

At a glance, the sea oats on the white sand dunes seem to be blooming orange. But then on a whim or a sea breeze... the monarch butterflies move on to the next flower or sea grass.

John

'...it's so cool the way the little...what does the ad say...nooks and cranies...really do hold the melting butter on an English Muffin...'

Patty sits between Adjin and John on the bench.

'English Muffin...is that how we speak about women now? What did you get lucky with one of the English girls who work the rides for the summer?'

Adjin

'No...he's into English Muffins.'

John

'...not into...I had one...'

Patty

'...'had one' Really John? Oh sure make women a thing and then you can just have 'em and leave...'

John

'...an English....how are things with Don?'

Patty

'...Don who?...I had him and moved on. I'm gonna think like guys. Let's focus on dicks...'

Adjin

'...that would make you a Gay man.'

Patty

'...then all men are Gay. They really prefer to be with men...'

John laughs

'...Patty...when you say...anyway you say it like you just stepped on a bug...d-ic'

Patty

'You're right. I'm one of the guys. I just l-o-v-e my d-ic...my manhood...'

Adjin

'...well, when you have to pee...being a man really stands for something, Get it?'

John

'God.'

Patty

'No. I'm just... wanna be one of the guys... Go ahead... talk about what you were talking about.'

John

'Anyway. It was like 80...so I had my English Muffin next to my Aunt's English garden with so many orange and black butterflies around...'

Patty

'Wait. So you two guys weren't leaving me out. You were really talking about eating an English Muffin?'

John

'Butter melting...lightly toasted.

Patty sees Adjin's eyes go to a Black woman walking by. The woman smiles and Adjin smiles back. His eyes go back to John and Patty.

Adjin

'I like my muffins toasted darker.'

Patty

'I knew it. You guys are disgusting.'

Patty stomps off down the boardwalk.

The Almost-a-Nurse takes Psychology 1

Sometimes the earth tries so hard to create peace. The full moon rises over the Atlantic-instantly changing an ink black sea into an enchanted silver-edged, rolling blanket. The waves bubble and glow phosphorescent- almost at the feet of Adjin. He is still dressed as a pirate, from his job as the operator of the pirate ride, and is sitting next to John looking, as always, raggy in his surfer's finest and their girl just- a- friend Patty.

John looking at the moon rise.

'Awesomeness.'

Adjin

'In this light, you look ship-wrecked.'

John

'Exactly. I'm running the Moby Dick ride.'

Adjin

'You're wearing the torn shorts you wear surfing...'

John

'Yeah, I guess that's why Ivan looked at me and put me on Moby.'

Adjin

'He put you on Moby Dick because the last operator quit when someone puked on him. The bloody boat went up and the puke came down.'

John

'Arrr Pirate. If ye keep using that Madonna inspired British accent...I'm gonna puke.'

Patty

'Question: How does it make you feel to have graduated college and be running the Moby Dick ride?'

John

'Answer: employed.'

Adjin

'So what do you think of working for Ivan?'

John

'He gave me a job...like Bernie in New York. Did you know in Russian...Ivan means John?'

Adjin

'It means dick in Seaside Heights New Jersey...Moby Dick. I remember when I first saw him... he was running the Moby Dick ride. And the ride operator's control's are right under the 'Dick' flashing sign. That's a sign.'

John

'When I run that ride...I'm standing under that sign...'

Adjin smiles at John.

Patty

'In using the word dick so much...how does that make you feel?'

Adjin

'I feel like saying ass.'

Patty

'Really. Why?'

Adjin

'Cause I'm looking at you.'

Patty

'Very mature....or not at all. As you know, I'm almost a Nurse...'

John

'Patty...like I've said...a Nurse is not an almost kinda job.'

Patty

'May I speak? In studying to be a Nurse...better boys?...I'm learning things that will give me great insight to the people around me.'

John

'Oh my God....(to Adjin) oh your Allah...(to Patty)...have you studied...(to Adjin) dare I ask? (to Patty)...are you studying Psychology?'

Patty

'...yes but I'm not judging anyone...analyzing a bit. That doesn't make you feel...'

John

'Patty Freud Boland.'

Adjin

(To Patty) 'How does it make me feel. Like you are an ass...we've been over this. And you...(to John). My English accent is the best on the boardwalk.

John

(to Adjin) My friend does the best British accent on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights New Jersey. Ooo, aim high.'

Patty (To John)

'...and how does that make you feel?'

Moby Dick. The Man.

John sits on the surfer's bench, his back to the  hordes of humanity on the boardwalk-his eyes towards the lifeless, black Atlantic. The bench is named in honor of someone none of the surfer's remember.

Adjin slaps John on the shoulder

'You again? You are on the boards a lot. You still working in the city.'

John

'Yuppers. Part time writer.'

Adjin sits next to him.

'Wish I had your life.'

John

'My life is a Tale of Two Bernies. Two millionaires duking it out...destroying themselves for revenge...through stealing accounts from each other. But....that's why they hire writers...'

Adjin

'Mine is Moby Dick. That's who I work for.'

John

'...oh like symbolically...like a force of nature...or even God...the great white whale.'

Adjin

'No. I work for a big, White dick. What part of Moby are you not getting?'

John

'Don't let your own hatred kill you Ahab.'

Adjin rolls his eyes at him.

John

'Well it's an American classic.'

Adjin

'I hate that...'

John

'What?'

Adjin

'American classics. No sex. No boobs.'

John

'There was a big sperm whale.'

Adjin looks sarcastically. Points at his chest.

'Muslim.'

John

'Just saying'

Adjin

'My Moby is actually running the Moby Dick ride...you know...white & blue flashing lights in the shape of  waves, painting of the angry white whale behind a boat going up and down-tourists screaming...hurling if you are lucky enough to catch one who can't take it. A Seaside Heights New Jersey classic.'

John

'We do so honor our literary heritage here sir. Anyway, I take it from your eye- patch, you are working the pirate ride.'

Adjin

'You are good. Maybe my Moby can hire you until yours does.'

John

'Doing what?'

Adjin

'Oh I don't know what you can do. I've got it. You could fix the brakes on the bumper cars.'

John

'I don't know how to fix brakes.'

Adjin

'There are no brakes on bumper cars, Get it? Bumper cars...they bump into each other.'

John

'Sounds like us. So where is this...Mr Moby Dick.'

Adjin

'Everywhere...he kinda comes up on you.'

John

'Like God. Like that whale. See what you get from reading classics.'

Adjin

'I get to wear a pirate eye patch.'

John

'...and speak a crappy English accent. Bettah than a finger in your eye.'

Adjin

'What? My accent is good.'

John

'Your channeling...Burt from Mary Poppins.'

Adjin

'Let's go find Moby Dick. God....o.k. Mr over-think-oh-so-educated-part-time-writer-no-break-bumper-car-break-fixer.'

John

'Classic.'