The living don't get. Whenever they imagine Heaven, they think of gold thrones and gates and red and gold colored clouds at dawn and glory-or God's power. That's all material-world stuff. And all of that stuff is what keeps us from experiencing true moments of heaven on earth: connecting spiritually with the essence of people.That's why John's soul isn't surprised at the 'look' of bewilderment at newly arrived souls to Heaven.
John's soul to newly arrived soul:
"I'm guessing you are hoping along about now that you are dreaming. Welll, the good news is you're in Heaven. The bad news is you're dead.What can I say? No one really expects it.
John's soul remembers squinting trying to read a license plate, attached to a truck careening toward him... thinking, wow, that pick-up is driving crazy. What's on his license plate. Reads:
"Grace Happens?" Nooo doesn't say that.
"Shit Happens?" Nooo
"Death Happens."
John's soul in Heaven, to the newly arrived soul.
"Next thing I knew...I could've been at the International House of Pancakes...as a pancake. So you are dead. Don't believe me? Look at yourself. Yup you are a white rod of light...like me...like all of them " said John's soul.
John's soul gesters across the Heavenscape. As far as the mind's eye can see, there are white rods of light, suspended in mid-air-floatimg. If you were able to look down, there would be a bright center with uncalculatable numbers of souls-white rods- surrounding the center light
John's soul
"Look around. All the souls have the same brightness. See that trio, one of them is Paris Hilton- looking just as bright as everyone else. She's next to...hmm Albert Einstein.
Einstein
'The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'
Paris
'That's hot.'
Oh look. Einstein is moving away from Paris fast. If you'd keep going out that way past her things get nasty. People used to think of a hell with volcanic eruptions. But it's only..Mel Gibson types. If he was angry as a wealthy, good looking, talented White man in Malibu...wait 'til he hears the big They thinks it would be good for his souls growth to be reincarnated into the body of a Black Ethiopian Jew.
John's soul gestures and says:
"And way, way past these angry little souls- you'd find all the criminals. The further you go out that way, the lonlier and colder it is because you are moving away from God. You'd think you'd find the worst of the worst there but you won't find Hitler's soul there. He's reincarnated as a Jewish woman in some Middle Eastern country-not Israel. I'm sensing you don't remember your life and the meaning of it. I'll help you remember how the perfecting-the-soul-to-get-closer-to-God thang works. "
John's soul ponders...looks out at the endless soulscape.
"I remember everything now and I'm ready to talk about my life as a writer. I was White this time. I was born with a lot of empathy and compassion towards certain people because of the lives I've lived before. I know how some soul feels because I've lived their life. I've been a Black slave...imagine that! Remember that Disney film with the slave, dancing down the lane, singing "zippity do da"? Well actually being a slave was all 'do'-no zippity. Da! Not happy...oh Lord, the troubles I've seen. Sorry, that just came out...past lives do.My back still hurts from being Japanese.
Newly Arrived Soul
'Were you a Japanese laborer?'
John's soul
'No, my back still hurts from all the bowing...you know....it's a saving face thang...which is good.'
I've been a begger, a Hindi in rags and a homeless Jew in Egypt wondering arround the desert. Can I just say this...don't ever follow a man...if he gets lost in the desert, he won't ask for directions. Comfortable shoes are so important. Are you writing these tips down. Oh well... enough of the trip down schmatta lane. Let me show you around Heaven more." said John's soul.
John's soul mentally gestures-everyone in Heaven communicates mentally-away from where he and the recently arrived soul were looking.
"In the opposite direction from the angry souls, see it get's brighter way over there. And see that bright center of love and good thoughts and deeds.-with all those souls joining in? When I first got here I thought that bright center of light was Alyssa Milano...you know, always thinking of ways to help people. But that bright center of goodness is even bigger than Allysa Milano on Twitter...it's actually God.
God
'Well duh.'
John's soul to Newly Arrived Soul
'Hear that? God should not be saying 'duh' to souls who mistake him for Alyssa Milano...that's all I'm saying." Before I was following Alyssa, I was following Kim Kardashian. She stopped short and it took me half an hour to get my head out f her ass.'
John's soul to God
'Oh come on, that was good.'
John's soul stares towards the bright center and 'says' to New Soul:
"You and I can't get there next to God yet. I'm not ready and you aren't ready. What were you thinking? In Vegas, Celine dramatically begins to sing that Titanic love theme 'My Heart Will Go On'. And you stand up and sing 'My farts will go on'... Dude, you should have known those queens would throw you off the balcony for that. Although, I must say Celine is a trooper, she finished 'My Heart Will Go On' even as they carried your body out. Anyway, if we want to get closer to God in Heaven, we have to become more like God in life...compassionate...stuff like that. Getting closer to God takes being born again into a human being and gaining more empathy for humanity by experiencing a life."
John's soul mentally shakes his head and says:
"...which brings me to my last life. Talking out our past lives in Heaven gets us ready for the next one. So you might be here to help me... help me process what I've learned. So what did I learn. Well, if someone gives you the finger, rather than giving them the finger back, you can either smile and ask "now?" Or say: "Don't Mel Gibson me bro." Or when a truck is racing towards you with a 'Death Happens' license plate...don't read the license plate...get out of the way. So many angry people in my lifetime. And me... a sensitive, day-dreaming writer in New York City in ruthless, souless, advertising. You know come to think of it...I'm gonna be a freak'n accountant next time around.".
